If Billy Ray Can’t Have Miley, He Guesses He’ll Settle For Noah Cyrus

Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus at the premiere for Hannah Montana April 2009I used to think I was kidding when I said that Billy Ray Cyrus had a crush on his daughter, Miley Cyrus, but the more interviews I read with him, the more I think I’ve really hit the nail on the head. I don’t even mean it in a romantic way, just that he has some kind of stars in his eyes that prevent him from seeing her in a parental way and keep him fawning and drooling over her instead.

Instead of acknowledging that it can be tough on a dad to see his daughter grow up so quickly and so drastically — to the point that she’s talking about drug use, posing topless for Terry Richardson, and getting insane FCC complaints for her VMA performance — he effuses about her passion and her artistic integrity. And even when he’s not doing that, he talks about her in a way that sounds much more romantic than fatherly. Here he is talking to Entertainment Tonight about Miley’s break up with Liam Hemsworth:

“All I know for sure is I heard my daughter say today she’s the happiest she’s ever been in her life immediately following [the breakup.] That’s when I saw Miley being so happy. Somewhere along the stress and strain of different things I didn’t see her smiling as often for a little while and all of a sudden she’s like the sun, and when she smiles it’s light.”

Very sweet, yes. I hope my husband says similar things to me at our wedding. But my most favoritest part of the interview isn’t Billy Ray hitting on Miley, amazing as that is. It’s actually him deciding to go sloppy seconds with his younger daughter Noah Cyrus, a daughter whose existence he was seemingly just made aware of for the very first time:

“I’ve really enjoyed the time I’ve been allowed to spend with Noah lately. I’ve never known normal. Miley’s never known normal. Noah might be [the closest] to all of our children as knowing normal and even that’s quite sad to say, because let’s think about her world right now. It’s anything but normal.”

Now that Miley’s spurned him for the spotlight, Billy Ray has been informed that there’s a thirteen year old who lives in his house and might be ready to be parented for the first time ever. (“Did you know we had a non-famous kid? I didn’t!”) What a marvel. I hope she agrees to go steady with him.

(Image: WENN.com)

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    • Meredith Hirt

      In one of the first pictures of Noah Cyrus on Google, she’s wearing a bikini top with denim shorts and a beanie. I haven’t been to junior high lately, is that “normal” apparel for a 13 year old?

      • DebMoore

        Don’t forget the part where she is also holding a red cup in that picture!

    • Stacey Judith

      He’s in denial..

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Big time.

    • ChiChi

      She’s a cute little kid! I feel bad for her. I mean, if she goes to public school (not some super hyped-up security school), because she isn’t famous, she got to see all of the boys pretending to be her older sister. That poor, poor girl!

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Oh yeah this is gonna be a tough Halloween for her, I fear.

    • Amanda

      You obviously don’t have children. There is nothing wrong with what you quoted as Billy Ray having said about Miley. It certainly doesn’t hint, at all, that he has romantic feelings about his daughter or that he has a “crush” on her. Here’s an idea: after you have your own child, look back on what he says about Miley, and if you don’t feel that kind of love for your child, I feel sorry for your child and you never should have had kids.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Thank you for the advice, I’m just concerned that the way you laid it out, I won’t know whether I should have kids until I already have kids. Please advise!!!

      • Diana

        Gee, thanks for spewing your parenting garbage on everyone, because I’m sure your freaking kids are absolutely perfect!

    • Liranna

      what the fu**? Those quotes don’t show any romantic feeling. You’re weird

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    • jdelaney

      Well, hell, he’s teaching little Noah to drive…she’s only 13 and not permitted by California law to be behind the wheel of a motor vehicle even if they were only driving around in their own neighborhood, but he did tell her that drinking and driving don’t mix…that’s why we use chauffeured limousines, so…

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