• Mon, Oct 7 - 10:27 am ET

Kristen Stewart Either Got The Crappiest Tattoos Ever, Or Still Draws On Herself In Pen

Kristen Stewart at LAX August 2013

If I know one thing about Kristen Stewart, it’s that she loves nothing more than keeping me guessing. Sure, she can pretend as much as she wants that she doesn’t care what I think, and that she scorns the attentions of the media, but I won’t be fooled. If that were true, she wouldn’t walk around with new tattoos and make me speculate about which of them were real and which of them were fake. No sirree, everything she does, she does in hopes that I will notice and write it up, and you’ll never convince me otherwise.

Case in point, she’s walking around with that collection of new tattoos I was talking about. But these aren’t just regular tattoos — that would not be the Kristen Stewart way. That wouldn’t stir up nearly enough speculation and coverage for her secret tastes. Nope, these are ‘potential’ tattoos, which are much more exciting.

There are three of them. One is what The Daily Mail describes as a ‘rustic hammer’ on her left arm, one is a crown on her left hand, and one is a cartoon fish on her right wrist. Based on the pictures, they all look fake to me and drawn on in pen, but that’s the thing about Kristen Stewart: she don’t give one eff. Even though the drawings are really scribbly, I wouldn’t put it past her for one of them to be real. She’s just that kind of girl, y’know? The kind to let her friend doodle on her arm during a long flight. The kind who doesn’t care if the only pen you have is a permanent marker, or a dry-erase pen, or a tattoo gun. It’s whatever! She’s just hanging out, letting experiences wash over her, living life.

She’s also been seen with a large black square on her inner right arm, with an eye and what looks like flames inside, but that’s rumored to be for her new project, Sils Maria, which is currently filming. But who knows, you guys! Any and all of these could easily be real tattoos, because this is Kristen Stewart we’re talking about. The last time she said she got a tattoo, it couldn’t be seen with the naked eye, so I think it’s anybody’s game at this point.

But at least Kristen got her face on the internet, which is what she wanted ALL ALONG. Don’t let her fool you.

(Image: WENN.com)

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