Oh y’know, just a normal thing I found.
Halloween is creeping ever nearer, and just behind the responsibility of deciding what kind of costume you’re going to wear is deciding what kind of candies you want to eat. I’m speaking, of course, under the assumption that you limit yourself to a certain number of calories every Halloween instead of passing out in a melting pile of chocolate and gummy worms, which is my tradition on All Hallows Eve.
But assuming you have more self-control than I do (which is kind of a given), maybe you want to be a little more choosy about the sweet treats that you indulge in this year. And since I’m obviously no help, I enlisted the unofficial assistance of some celebrities. I decided to match them up with what kind of candy I predict would be their favorite…and then you can just do exactly what they do, and eat exactly what they eat, and feel exactly what they feel. That’s the point of celebrities, right? Right.
1. Benedict Cumberbatch
Definitely Cadbury Creme Eggs. Undeniably delicious, but only comes around one season a year, so you never have time to get sick of it. Plus I can imagine him pronouncing it in his British accent, which is an added bonus.
2. Jennifer Lawrence
Sour gummy worms. What a fun treat that we all love, even if we can’t admit it. And she’s not too proud to make them sprout out of Oreo dirt, either.
3. Justin Timberlake
Justin is so totally a Three Musketeers bar. The candy so overplayed that it gets left at the bottom of the bowl. Go away for a while so I can get my taste back for that weird filling.
4. Amy Poehler
Sorry, but when do you not want a Snickers bar? No one would ever turn that down, even if they weren’t hungry.
5. Shia LaBeouf
That Chocolate Filled With Cherry Goo stealthily lurking in the heart-shaped box. Looks delicious until you actually take a bite. Then you realize your mistake.
6. Anne Hathaway
Almond Joy. There’s nothing wrong with coconut, it’s just not for everyone, y’know?
7. James Franco
A 100 Grand bar. Because as many times as it’s been explained to me, I still can’t figure out exactly what’s going on with that one.
8. Ellen DeGeneres
Starbursts. On account of how good she is at bursting stars (get it?) down into normal people. She’s honestly an interview wizard. Also rainbow! Topical reference! Okay that one was a reach and I know it.
9. Justin Bieber
A Butterfinger. For the way he’s letting his career slip through his fingers.
10. Sandra Bullock
She’s America’s Sweetheart, so I’m assuming her favorites are America’s Sweet Tarts.
11. George Clooney
Toblerone. The gentleman of candy bars.
12. Julia Roberts
War Heads. They were so popular in your childhood but now you never see them around anymore, y’know?
13. Leonardo DiCaprio
M&Ms. They’re great and they always do a good job and stuff, but they’re never your favorite out of all of the other candies. No need to go giving them a Candy Oscar or anything.
14. Meryl Streep
Godiva Chocolate. Don’t mess with the best.
15. Michael Cera
Hershey’s Chocolate. Because no matter what
role form it takes, it always tastes the same.