Here’s what we know about the brand new child of Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez: It’s a boy, and it’s beautiful. I mean, I haven’t seen any pictures yet but I’m only assuming he is because OH MY GOD HAVE YOU SEEN HIS PARENTS. So we’ve got a gender! Yay! But no name yet. Typical Hollywood parents, pretending it’s none of our business what they name their child. Pish-posh, I tell you.
Berry’s oldest child, Nahla, was named presumably after the female character in The Lion King, so don’t be surprised if we get an official birth announcement for Simba Berry-Martinez sometime soon. Though I think Timon Pumbaa Martinez has a nice ring to it too.
Since we don’t have an photos of the newby (that’s a combo of “new” and “baby” if you must know) yet, can we all just take a minute to admire the physical appearance of a pregnant Halle Berry? She’s got to be the eighth wonder of the world or something, right? Come on, Halle… you couldn’t puff up a little to make the rest of us normals feel better about ourselves? It’s not fair that you look just as insanely perfect when you’re with child. Even Kim Kardashian threw us a few bones with her ill-fitting, totally inappropriate maternity wardrobe and puffy ankles during her gestation period.
Anyway, congratulations to the insanely good-looking couple on the birth of their most likely ridiculously good-looking offspring. I see your gender announcement, and I raise you one Disney character name.