We can never go back to the time before I interviewed Vanessa Bayer yesterday, you guys. It was a simpler age, back when I thought I was cool and suave on the telephone and that celebrities would be taken with me instantly and invite me out to brightly-colored cocktails and famous person game nights.
But even though I spoke to Vanessa on the phone yesterday after she and the rest of the Saturday Night Live cast finished a dress rehearsal, she hasn’t invited me to a single polo match or croquet tournament on the roof a hotel yet. But I did also get some fun, interesting nuggets out of the conversation, so I guess we can both read those while I wait by the phone.
My first question was whether Vanessa feels famous. Mostly because I wanted her to say yes so that I could soak up some of that famousness for myself. Like a celebrity slurpee.
“Oh, (laughs) that’s an interesting question. I don’t, really. Um, because mostly, like, when I get recognized, people think, like, maybe they went to high school with me. Because we wear so many wigs on the show and we look so different, we’re always in character, so people, like, if I do get recognized a lot of the time it’s, like, people who are like, “’Did we go to high school, or like, did you go to camp with me?’”
Which is actually really interesting. I hadn’t thought about that, but it makes total sense. Obviously Vanessa is pretty famous though, because she’s on TV every single week, and she’s met some of the most A-Listy celebrities out there. So I wanted to know what the least normal thing that she does on a daily basis was, that’s started to seem normal.
“Um, I think…hold on — that’s such a good question that I want to give you, like, the answer that it deserves. Well, you know, I will tell you what it is. The thing that is more normal is I now have, like, every TV station. I have, like, cable and I have HBO and Showtime. And, like, I’ll just watch all this TV. When I was living in Chicago, I basically watched stuff online. And I know that’s sort of a boring answer but it brings me a lot of joy just to be able to afford to have HBO and stuff. I probably watch too much TV now. But it feels like such luxury to just be able to be like, “’Oh, this new show is on HBO? I can just check it out. Like, on my TV.’”
YOU GUYS. Vanessa Bayer is just like us! Well, me, anyway. I worry that I can’t get much more famous or make much more money than I already do because I’d spend all my leisure time just watching TV on my couch with a glass of red wine and a block of cheese. Luckily I’m 0% rich and famous so we’re still okay. Also please notice that I asked a really good question, and join me in patting myself on the back.
I was also curious about how it is hanging with celebrities who come on the show. I didn’t know how much time they spent with the cast, or when they join the rehearsal process, but Vanessa was very informative! She says they bring the hosts in on Monday and start pitching ideas to them and writing in earnest pretty much all day and all night Tuesday, so by the time Saturday rolls around, they’ve spent almost a full week together:
“We get to spend a lot of time with them and stuff. And a lot of times, especially with the female hosts, I, like, kind of want to be their best friends because they’re, like, so cool and they have it together so much. I feel like to be in that position, I think you kind of have to have your life together so much. And it’s fun to like, hang out with them and be like, “Oh you’re cool!”
I was actually expecting to have to bring Miley Cyrus up on my own because I, like everyone in America, am intently focused on her daily activities, including her upcoming stint on SNL, but Vanessa actually brought her up all on her own. Pretty smart move, actually, to instigate the conversation on her own terms so I didn’t get a chance to be like, “beep bop boop Miley Cyrus boop boop?!”
“I will say Miley is here this week, and we all think she’s, like, the coolest person in the world.”
Oh. Wow! Cue my instant shock. Caught me totally off-guard. Not that she’d say anything bad about Miley, but I wasn’t expecting her to be so enthusiastic.
“Crushable: Oh, really? Is she easy to work with and stuff?
Vanessa: Yes, she’s so easy to work with, she’s so great. And we’re all just, like, “Oh my god, she’s so cool!”
Crushable: That’s so fun!
Vanessa: Yeah, yeah, it’s really great.
Crushable: Does she seem different than her persona thatshe’s putting out now? Or, like, I don’t know if you…I follow that intensely.
Vanessa: Oh yeah yeah yeah! No, I think it’s just that she’s very comfortable with herself and she has such a fun personality so it’s fun to have someone like that here because it takes a lot of the pressure off. Because you’re with someone who’s kind of up for anything and is open to our range of crazy ideas. You know, we write such a range of different characters and different things and stuff, so it’s fun to have someone who’s really open to that. It’s been super fun.”
She won’t tell me whether she’s doing her impression of Miley this weekend (although she says Miley has always been really cool about it and it‘s fun to do in front of her), she says she thought Miley’s performance at the VMAs was ‘cool’, and she won’t tell me anything about the show.
BUT. I can exclusively reveal that it’s ‘going to be a real blast’. I know guys. I’m a one-woman crack journalistic team. But Vanessa still hasn’t texted me an invite to the tenement musem for this weekend, so let’s watch her in this funny video while we continue to wait: