• Fri, Oct 4 - 11:21 am ET

What Your Sunday Night TV Choices Say About You (Besides Everything)

There’s nothing more stressful in the entire world for a TV fan than Sunday night. Every single good show in the entire world airs within a three hour time span. While it’s unclear how Sunday night turned into the Regina George of the TV schedule, it is clear that there’s no going back now. Every time a promising new show airs, it will air on Sunday night. That’s just the world we live in now. Therefore everyone with a pulse spends their Sundays curled up on the couch trying to figure out how to fit it all in. Thankfully DVRs do all the heavy lifting, but what you choose to watch live and what you choose to DVR determines everything about you. So check out the below and figure out where you fall.

1. Showtime Homeland Claire Danes Terrorist

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If you choose shows like Homeland, Masters of Sex, Dexter and Shameless on Sunday night, you’re no doubt an intense person. You don’t mess around when it comes to topics like terrorism, sex, murder and family dysfunction. If there’s terrorism, there better be explosions. If there’s sex, there better be full nudity. If there’s murder, there better be a serial killer involved. And if there’s family dysfunction, it better involve an alcoholic father with several messed-up children. One time you laughed when watching a network comedy, but it was on accident and you’ve asked your friends never to bring it up again.

7. AMC

Bryan Cranston Breaking Bad Stay Out

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You are cutting edge. In fact you’re so cutting edge that you might be a pair of scissors. And even though shows like Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead and Mad Men are coming to an end (or have, already, wahhhh), you’re prepared to keep cutting that edge by spending the rest of your life talking about how they’re the greatest shows on TV. Even if no one’s questioning you, you will argue that to your last breath. One time someone at work spoiled the an episode for you, so you got him fired.

3. Lifetime

Drop Dead Diva Beauty Queen

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If you opt for shows like Drop Dead Diva and Witches of East End, you’re into secrets. More specifically, your own. Sure your co-workers think you spend your weekends raising cats and writing statuses about your paleo diet, but you’re really a burlesque dancer with a jealous ex-lover who’s murdered before AND WILL MURDER AGAIN. One time you spent all weekend watching Dance Moms, but you blamed your MIA-ness on having to work alllll weekend.

4. TLC Long Island Medium No

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If shows like Breaking Amish, Sister Wives and Long Island Psychic get you going, then you’re insane. The fun kind of insane though! You’re the girl who all your friends say is “unpredictable” and “possibly an alcoholic” and “maybe chemically unbalanced.” Or you’re a sister wife who found your Amish roots while speaking to a psychic and this line-up, for obvious reasons, really appeals to you. One time someone at work asked you why you’re drinking at 10 A.M, you said “it’s five-o-clock somewhere,” and that person said, “but not here….so, put it away.”

5. A Network  Revenge Weaknesses

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If you’re into standard network fare like The Good Wife and Revenge, you’re a clothes ironer. As in you believe in ironing your clothes. You also limit yourself when you’re getting toppings on your self-serve fro-yo and you always order the same omelette at brunch, no matter where you are. You’re not boring, you just like routine and straight lines and knowing what you’re about to get. And what you’re about to get is usually a little bit of lite crime and intrigue. One time you forgot you work lunch at home and you’re still working on forgiving yourself for that.

6. HBO Girls Lena Dunham Hang Out

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Hello trendmonster! Because you watch Girls and Veep and The Newsroom and Game of Thrones, I know you’re always on top of your game. You’re also always on top of talking about how paying extra for HBO each month is soooo worth it. One time you referenced Girls at work unironically. You’re still trying to live that down.

7. E!

KUWTK Kim Kardashian Stop Taking Pictures of Yourself

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If your Sunday nights involve shows like Keeping Up with the Kardashians, odds are high that you’re a hamster. A very smart hamster! But a hamster nonetheless. One time you forgot where the wheel was in your cage, but then you reassured yourself that could happen to any hamster.

 

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  • Olivia Wilson

    I wonder how AMC will even follow up this winning streak they’ve had with hit shows. I’ll be so disappointed if they can’t.

  • Ruby L

    I am a hamster that irons clothes who can be sporadically intense. This is better than a Cosmo quiz.

    • Ruby L

      and for the record, I really like Cosmo quizzes.

    • Jenni

      Haha, I was hoping we had a few hamsters out there who read us.

  • ChiChi

    What about the C.B.S. people? Sure N.C.I.S., and Elementary (Holy Tolkien, LUCY LIU!), air in the week, but there are almost always a marathon, be it Psych, N.C.I.S., or some other wonderful cop show.

    The other thing is, the shows aren’t alike. Sure they all involve a federal agency/law enforcement, but that’s like condemning TLC for having shows about pagents (and the fact that half of the people they film aren’t toddlers…) Like, in N.C.I.S., you have your people who hunt down people that try to harm the Navy. Plus, you get to see Cote de Pablo, Micheal Weatherly, Mark Harmon, and that other dude sort out issues with themselves and their families. And some of these family members die. Oh whatevs.

    And in Elementary, you get to see my girl-crush, Lucy Liu, kick butt while making sure Jonny Lee Miller doesn’t revert back to his drug-use-filled past life, all while making sure Clyde the Turtle has some lettuce to chew on.

    And you don’t even add it. Which prompted me to use the time that fills up the life I *don’t* have to write a essay that is almost as long as the ones my prof wants us to write (Which I write longer, with actual writing skills)

    Annnnnnnnd now I feel like I have to write a concluding sentence. Probably because I had an essay assessment on Lancaster Britain this morning, and I have an essay about the Chivarlic code due sometime in the near future.

    AND GOOGLE: CHIVARLIC IS A WORD! bam.

    Let me go take my anti-rant medicine…Yo problemos mucho.

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