This is a very exciting moment, you guys — this is the moment that Beyonce and I first begin to realize that we are twins separated at birth. You know that moment in The Parent Trap when Lindsay Lohan and Lindsay Lohan turn to each other, open-mouthed and say, “If my mum is your mum…and your dad is my dad, then…”? Well that’s the series of events that’s about to get started with Beyonce and I, because we just found our first thing in common, and it’s all gonna spiral into amazingness from here.
She recently gave an interview to the Australian edition of Marie Claire, and she talked about how even if she’s reading an article about herself, she stops short of reading the user comments at the end of the page. Mostly on account of people being the worst:
“Don’t scroll down! You’re definitely going to get your feelings hurt.”
And she’s right! I experience that all the time! As it turns out, Crushable is my first professional writing job, and after my first day of work, I was excitedly showing the guy I was
dating boning, one of my first ever posts, when I noticed it had a comment on it. And oh my god, I was so excited to read it. As I recall, it was a post criticizingÂ Kris Humphries (this was back when his divorce fromÂ Kim Kardashian was still raging, and she was just starting to date to to date Kanye West), and as I clicked on my first ever comment on this website, I discovered two things: A. Kris Humphries unexpectedly has fans and B. they are rabid.
So my FULL NAME and the c-word. In the same post.Oh man you guys, I nailed it. I effing nailed it. So yeah, Bey, obviously I get it, so any time you want to switch places and see if Jay Z and my decidedly non-rapper boyfriend notice, you let me know. I’ll be waiting by the phone for the first draft of your family tree to come through so I can start memorizing.