Justin Bieber Will Release A New Song Every Monday For Ten Weeks…Is That A Threat?

Justin Bieber on a segway in Instagram photo September 2013Justin Bieber has announced that starting at midnight this Sunday, October 6th, he will release a new song every Monday for ten weeks, and I don’t want to be too rash, but does that smack of a threat to anyone else? Like Justin is plotting to kill one hostage a week for ten weeks until we meet his demands? Except in this case, instead of killing one hostage, he’s releasing one song…which theoretically sounds better on paper, but will probably have the same effect affect on my morale.

 

 

The songs will all be coming from his newest album ‘Heartbreaker’, so named because no one has yet informed Justin that Selena Gomez was the one to break up with him. I assume that Scooter was supposed to drop that knowledge bomb during this China trip, but he probably didn’t want to damage Justin’s fragile emotions in his already weakened state. (I mean, you read Crushable, right? The kid had to get carried up the Great Wall Of China on the shoulders of his bodyguards. Like some kind of frail, demanding boy king.)

Justin Bieber Heartbreaker cover art October 2013So okay, the name of the album isn’t gonna be changed. Whatever. But can’t we just try to meet his demands? I don’t want to have to write up a new Justin Bieber song every Monday morning for the next ten weeks. As a celebrity blogger, that threat is real to me. Justin is cutting me to the core, and I’m willing to drop my long-held beliefs against negotiating with music terrorists.

So if everyone could chip in to provide some items off this list and protect the world from this slow-release system that Justin has engineered, that would be great. I’d do it myself, but I don’t know where to find twelve black leather diapers at such short notice, and I wouldn’t know the first thing about obtaining a pygmy unicorn, especially with Justin’s track record of leaving animals behind.

Come on, guys — I never ask you for anything.

(Images: Instagram)

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    • Jenni Moore

      Man, you guys really like to hate on the Biebs, huh? Lol jesus. All the kid did was tell his fans he was going to release new music…and you still find a way to say negative things about him. Smh. I love this site, but I think you guys are unnecessarily mean to Justin Bieber…and I think “meanness” goes against your mission statement. But it’s whatever.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        This is an honest question — what’s our mission statement?

      • Jenni Moore

        Well I guess it’s not really your mission statement, but rather your “About” section:

        Crushable is smart, funny and genuine, combining celebrity news, style and a wide spectrum of content that appeals to an engaged, entertainment-obsessed audience. The site is appropriately skeptical but never mean; we’re the fun, gossipy, down-to-earth friend who refuses to indulge in syrupy nonsense.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I think we’re very critical of Justin, and of Miley Cyrus, and of Taylor Swift, and of a whole bunch of other celebrities, but I don’t know that we’re outright mean. We look at literal things they do and comment on them with a high level of snark, but we do try not to get into mean territory and instead to use humor and satire to get our point across. I do understand that it’s easy to verge into it, though, so I’m sorry if you were personally offended by this post. We definitely don’t care for Justin due to his behavior right now, but (and I can only speak for myself here) I know I’d be open-minded to changing my opinion if he did things that didn’t give me such a self-obsessed, rude, erratic vibe. That’s how I feel.

      • Jenni

        Fair response. But I think that a lot of what you guys consider “bad behavior” by Justin on here is based on inaccurate information. A lot of the conclusions you come to would probably be retracted if you had a lot of the facts straight. Also, why should there be something snarky to say about him releasing new music — music that he has written himself — for his fans? He’s a true artist and wants to be taken seriously for that. I think that’s a pretty good behavior, and a positive example for other creative young individuals. He’s growing up in the spotlight, making mistakes along the way. It’s getting to a point where every single thing the kid does is condemned, and that’s a part of new media that I think we should all work on changing on an individual basis.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I have an issue with people calling him a ‘true artist’, though. He doesn’t write his own songs or play an instrument, so he’s essentially just going through the motions that other people on his team set out for him. I’ll acknowledge that he’s attractive to a certain extent and that he’s a true ‘performer’, but I don’t think artist is a fair word. The music doesn’t seem to be a priority for him, as much as he asks it to be one for us.

      • Jenni Moore

        That’s where you’re wrong again, Alexis. Justin wrote or co-wrote every song on his BELIEVE album (excluding “Beauty and a Beat”). All the songs that he is about to release are ones that he has written himself. He’s been writing copious amounts of songs while on his tour, and this release (the one you’re reporting on) is the first “music journal” from that collection. I would highly suggest you do some research before you go making claims like that. Because everything you just said is simply untrue. Also, he plays MULTIPLE instruments. Guitar, drums, and a little piano.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Not onstage he doesn’t. He wears angel wings and gets flitted about the stage.

      • Jenni Moore

        Glad I could educate you on the fact that he writes his own music. And actually yes, he does play instruments on stage. Well, technically he’s in a floating cherry-picker but whatever. He has a 3-4 song acoustic set in which he plays, he does a drum solo in the middle of the show, and he plays piano for the song “Believe,” which he wrote for his fans.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Good to know.

    • Kina

      I find it hilarious that you’ve taken the time out of your day to discuss something that you know absolutely NOTHING about. You don’t think he’s a “true artist” and that he doesn’t play any instruments or write his own songs. This could be your opinion but it is also highly inaccurate. If you even took the time to do research then you’d know that the kid is a musical prodigy. He plays a list of instruments, he goes on tour and writes songs. He never stops. He’s always working on his craft, his music. A true artist? What is your definition of a “true artist”? Justin is the embodiment of a “true artist” hardworking, never stops thinking about what his next step is, constantly bouncing ideas around, not sleeping bc he’s always writing pr in the studio workig on new music (yes, even while he’s on tour) constantly proving people wrong.

      I’d like to think that before you write articles about him, comment saying he doesn’t play instruments or write his own music , you’d take the time to do some heavy research. I suggest you rent Never Say Never first.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I know as much about him as I care to know, how about that? He does not fulfill my personal ideas about what a ‘true artist’ is, so I don’t listen to him. And outside of his music, I find his behavior extremely unappealing, so I comment on it.

        You seem to be a fan of his, and that’s great for you, I respect that. I’m happen not to be, and that’s okay too.

    • Sara H.

      You must be thoroughly unimpressed with the rest of the world because if every 19-year-old was documented for every one of his/her actions we’d be in trouble. Keep in mind his “behaviours” that you find so unappealing have no correlation to his career… I’m not a die-hard fan of his but I do admire his management, team and overall level of work. As a frequent reader I recommend aiming for articles that are worth reading rather than personal attacks.

      After all, if someone else was being carried up the Great Wall of China, people would have a laugh then look the other way. I have trouble seeing what it has to do with him releasing music in a unique manner of his choice (whether it be all in an album or one at a time… which you seem to be seriously offended by)

      With that, I’ll also advise fact checks! It adds credibility to your blog.

      Look forward to reading future articles.

      Cheers

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        It’s hard, though, because no one else does the things he does. So it’s hard to say how we’d react. I think I’d respond the same way if another celebrity was getting carried up the Great Wall of China. It’s just such an odd, specific thing that (in our minds, at least) it requires comment.

      • Proud Of Justin

        May I ask why being carried up the Great Wall is such a big deal to you? It was obviously done in a joking manor. And I feel bad if you don’t have the sense of humor to see that. He is 19 and loves to joke around and have fun. His team was obviously having fun with it too. And why would you feel the need to waste your time writing a rude article about him releasing his new music. I believe there are over 45 million people who are very excited to hear his new music that, YES he did write himself. Do yourself a favor as a “celebrity blogger” and learn a little something about these human beings you are so quick to judge. I understand if his music is not your cup of tea, that is fine. But just have the decency to respect him as the amazing human being and TRUE ARTIST that he is.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Joking Manor is my favorite house I’ve ever lived in.

      • Proud Of Justin

        My bad for auto correct. And you have nothing else to say. HA!

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        That’s correct, because I disagree with you. I have to write more posts for you to criticize, I can’t spend all day responding to you guys claiming he’s a true artist.

        I disagree. I don’t know what else to tell you.

      • Jenni Moore

        But you said that he wasn’t a “true artist” because he doesn’t write his own music and doesn’t play instruments…when in fact, you are false on those accounts. So I’m wondering what else you need for him to be a valid human being?

      • Anzi

        Your reasons for him not being a true artist was incorrect and disproved, what else is your reasons other than your dislike of him and his “alleged” actions. (which doesn’t affect his craft or artistry)

    • Justins Heartbreaker

      HELL YEAH IM EXCITED CANT WAIT FOR THIS, CAN MONDAY BE HERE ALREADY?

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