If his wife Jenna Dewan-Tatum is to be believed in her appearance on The Ellen Show today, Channing performs the ground-breaking? earth-shattering? superhero-esque? feat of removing poops and pees from the butt region of his four-month old daughter Everly. And not only that, he’s actually really really good at it. Whatever that means.
“He’s the most amazing diaper changer. it’s like, the one thing he knows he can do, so he’s like, ‘Let me get in there, let me change these diapers.’”
Apparently Channing stresses out about all the rest of it, like worrying about dropping the kid or doing it wrong, but he is a diaper ninja. I’m imagining special knots and diaper origami and that trick where you yoink a tablecloth off a table without disturbing anything that’s on top of it…but with a diaper. That’s what ‘most-amazing diaper-changer’ means to me, and I’ll accept nothing less.
Especially when you take into account that he’s been preparing for this moment for approximately eight months, perhaps we shouldn’t be quite so bamboozled. I love me some Ellen DeGeneres more than anything, and she usually has a pretty good read on equality and like…the things that I personally think and feel, but even she is really blown away by this miraculous skill of Channing’s, saying:
“He changes diapers? That’s amazing.”
Is it, though? Are you amazed by it? Are you really and truly amazed? At some point, someone has to change those diapers, so why is it still so impressive that that task might be tackled by the father? Nobody is baffled when the mother does it, right? Nobody is sitting Jenna Dewan-Tatum down and going, “You change diapers? That is amazing I am amazed. Most parents just let their kid get old enough to figure it out from themselves, and I’ll tell ya, they do a lot of lying around in feces, but it sounds like things are a lot better over at your house, huh? UNBELIEVABLE! A woman who changes diapers! We oughta put her in a magazine!”
I’m just saying that if you want to be really objective and equality-ish about this, my general rule is that gender aside, whoever makes dinner shouldn’t have to do the dishes. AND MY BOOBS ARE MAKING MAGIC DINNER FOR THIS SMALL HUMAN EVERY NIGHT SO GET YOUR HANDS IN HER POOP DISHES CHANNING.