Ever since Britney Spears’ ”Work Bitch” leaked onto the internet a few weeks ago, I’ve sat around waiting for the music video to be released. “With lyrics so complex and so financially insightful,” I said to everyone who would listen, “this music video’s going to be spectacular. Just absolutely spectacular. I mean, we’re talking Britney Spears here! This lady put the Smurfs on the map this summer! It’s going to be like Britney plus CNBC plus a snake!”
And then I saw the video this morning and felt, well, underwhelmed. Not as underwhelmed as Britney looked in the video, but still very underwhelmed. For someone who’s going on and on about working (bitch), she’s not doing very much of it. And yes, I’ll admit that the desert’s very hot. But, still, I think that a professional performer could crank out a few more moves than the ones we saw. Or at the very least, not look like she was roused from a nap moments before starting to film.
While I won’t spoil her entire routine for you, I will say that her signature move in this one does seem to be leaning against a wall and doing some lite writhing. Sure there are a few moments when you think she’s about to start doing some kind of complex routine and you’re like “oohhhh nooo, here it comess,” and then the camera pans away to her lazily whipping someone. There’s never a moment in the entire video when you’re impressed with her behavior. Or even convinced that she wants that Bugatti.
While her complete lack of energy shouldn’t surprise me at this point, it does. Especially since everyone’s always pretending like she had some kind of comeback. Sorry kids, but I think her days of putting in effort are over. Or as she would say, her days of working like it’s her profession are over. Now she’s just another washed-up star doing duets with computers and biding her time before another reality show asks her to be a judge.