Why Taylor Swift, you saucy so-and-so. Haven’t you and I agreed that if you ever have a salacious piece of gossip to share to me, that you’ll do it in a long-form ballad so I can get all the details and also get something stuck in my head? That was the promise we made to each other, and I’ve never had cause to question it until now.
But here you go making a comment to Glamour UK that’s exactly that — a comment. There’s no haunting chorus, no cheeky lyrics, no bouncy melody. It seems like she’s making an implication that Justin Bieber cheated on Selena Gomez while they were together and then she took him back, but how am I supposed to absorb this information, Tay-tay? Write it into your new single or don’t bother telling me at all.
“I’ve seen my friends take someone back after they’ve cheated because they fit perfectly. But I don’t know, because I’ve never had a perfect fit with someone.”
But no matter how she releases the information, Taylor never manages to talk about anyone but herself for long. Even if it’s the dreaded Jelena, whose sloppy kisses backstage so famously prompted her to stick out her tongue at the Billboard Music Awards, there’s still nobody Taylor Swift likes to talk about quite as much as Taylor Swift.
These other two humans and their petty, non-Taylor dramas are only fun to talk about for a second, and then she’s back to, “Oh and by the way, I’ve never had a perfect fit with someone. I thought I did about eight times, but turns out that SOME PEOPLE don’t appreciate casual l-bombs being dropped over an early morning antiquing expedition three weeks into our fakelationship. I of course exclude Meredith from that category (get it??), because no man can ever approach her for gallantry and pureness of heart. But in general humans are lacking and I shall be single forever except probably only for a few more minutes. Well, back to my concert now, ta-ta!”