Well, it’s over. Breaking Bad will only exist now in our hearts, minds and syndication. And if it weren’t for football season and the arrival of fall, I’d be much more depressed. But with only 86 days until Christmas, I expected my gift early this year. A nice, wrapped0up Breaking Bad series finale. All loose ends neatly tied up with a bow and a sense of satisfaction that’s been lacking ever since the finale of Dexter. It’s a bitter sweet end in which now I have an hour long Sunday void to fill. Or not. My Sundays were getting crowded with awesome television and permanent couch indentations. Not that I’m complaining…I’m just sayin’. Could totally use that extra hour to like run a 10k or something. Hah, yah right. There are always Roseanne repeats on, sometime, somewhere. But I digress…let’s recap the Breaking Bad series finale.
We left hipster Walter with his glasses and beard and beanie after he made the decision to get out of his Ted-Kaczynski-type cabin. After seeing Elliott and Grace Schwartz (aka Grey Matter) talking mad shit about Walter, he decides to try to steal a car and get outta dodge. With a bit of luck, he finds the keys in the visor to just get him home. The cops show up and then leave, which is more luck for Walter. Now he’s off to explain the flashbacks that we viewers couldn’t understand and have been waiting for explanation since our eyes were set upon said flashbacks. Walt cunningly uses a pay phone (yah) to figure out where the Schwartzes call home. Then he surprises them in the middle of their intellectual argument as they’re all surrounded by the stark contrast of the Schwartz home and the White home. Walt retrieves 9 million in cash to give the Schwartzes so that they can set up a trust fund for Flynn…or Walter Jr…or whatever he’s going by these days. When Walt senses a little hesitation, he reinforces their promise with a little thing called “I’ve hired hit men who have you in their laser sights right now.” What’s even better than the jump I felt after seeing the lasers was the slight comic relief of the real hit men being Badger and Skinny Pete – Jesse’s old crew with laser pointers and information on who is still making the blue meth. Walt figures that Jesse is still alive and making the good stuff.
Cut to Jesse in a woodshop, carving away in the angelic light of day. Except, nope, not really. He’s still in the dungeon hellhole, making meth for the enemy and thinking about Brock and his poor murdered mother. Meanwhile, Todd is meeting up with Lydia for their usual awkward conversation and chamomile tea. And after a quick stop to the Denny’s to celebrate his 52nd birthday, Walt’s also at the shop and he pulls a chair up for himself at Todd and Lydia’s table. He tries to make Lydia and Todd an offer they can’t refuse, but they give Walt the cold shoulder and Lydia carries on with her anal preparation of tea. Cue the foreshadowing to the ricin!
Skyler is in her new digs when Marie calls to tell her that Walter is on the loose. The neighbor saw him leaving their old house and it scared the crap outta her. When they hang up, it turns out that Walt is standing in the kitchen all along. He makes his peace with Skyler, even confessing that his motives were selfish in his meth drug dealer business days. Walt gives Skyler the coordinates to Hank’s body to use as leverage for a deal with the prosecutor. Walt says bye to Holly and watches as Walter Jr. comes home from school…and that chapter closes. Seriously, what was up with Marie’s kleptomania? I was hoping for a bigger reason to that storyline. But I guess the gal just likes silver spoons.
Walter then goes to talk to Uncle Jack, which everyone always thinks is a mistake — but it’s rare for Walter to never have a plan. When the Nazi gang wants nothing to do with his bogus offer, they decide that a bullet to Walt’s head is a pretty simple solution. But Walter wants his last moment with Jesse and demands to see him. Uncle Jack’s pride gets in the way and they bring the shackled Jesse front and center. Just as I’m thinking that keys were a poor weapon of choice to finally get his closure by killing Jesse or someone else in the room, Walt drops them to the ground as his homemade trunk machine gun goes off and kills everyone except for Jesse, Walt and Todd. Seriously, Todd is unscathed. Too bad he’s too stupid for his own good cause Jesse was all over that opportunity to kill him. I even enjoyed the reminiscent style of Walt killing Krazy 8 and remembering when Jesse had his keys in his hand to prepare to fight Mike back in the day. Just throwing the viewer fans a little bone.
And finally, a wounded Walt slides the handgun over to a new hairdoed Jesse to do what he will; tells Jesse that Jesse wants this. But Jesse, for as many bad choices as he has always made, has always been the moral high ground — stable and well-meaning. Jesse walks away after realizing that Walt is on the way out anyway and drives away to freedom. When a sickly Lydia calls Todd and Walt answers, Walt lets her know that she’s been ricin-poisoned and she can just go ahead and sit there knowing that information until she dies the next day. BRUTAL. And amazing. If anyone deserved to get theirs it was that Louboutin-wearing, tea-drinking, Todd-mingling Lydia. So, having closed as many chapters that he could possibly close, Walt goes back to the genesis of it all…the meth lab that he and Jesse created an outstanding television show around. Aptly, he succumbs to his gunshot wound or his cancer or his lost will to carry on. Walt dies in his lab as the police come in to figure out how in the world someone makes a trunk machine gun…and also rules the meth world as Heisenberg. Well done, Vince Gilligan. You are a saint, Sir.
I expected plenty of deaths and surprises in this episode, but even as it was happening I still wasn’t sure who was going to get it and who was gonna make it out alive. Luckily, it ended perfectly. I’m not sure anyone can be disappointed with the answered questions and the moral goodness that prevailed. Oh yah, and that the bastard Todd and idiot Lydia got exactly what they deserved. I would have liked to know we were saying goodbye to Saul Goodman when we did last episode, but that’s alright. The man has his own show and is moving on. And so must we. And so, as we say au revoir, just know that you can always go back to this and entertain yourself to get you through that 9-10 Sunday night grieving period that’s sure to commence next week.