I think the relationship between Katy Perry and John Mayer has reached the statute of limitations on “new relationship gushing,” in my opinion. Â I know when you’re first dating someone, you tend to view each other the way one might view a unicorn taking a glittery, rainbow dump: admiringly with awe. Â But after awhile, you see them for what they really are – just as flawed a human being as you are – and the rainbow turd thing goes out the window to make room for general, shoulder-shrugging acceptance.
This is apparently not how the John Mayer/Katy Perry relationship works, because we still get to hear how much these two weirdos love each other! Â In a new interview with Billboard, we get to hearÂ how Katy thinks John Mayer is “literally a genius” (hear that, Kanye?) and how amazing it is to watch him work on crossword puzzles:
Â ”I always tell him, ‘Darling, you know I’m going to have to give your mind to science after you’ve passed, because we’re going to have to understand how all these sparks work.’ We’ll be in bed, and he’ll be doing the crossword puzzle. Every night, he tries to finish it in under 10 minutes. When he puts his mind to something, he really gets it done very well. I always ask for his help.”
I often times lie awake at night dreaming of donating my fiance’s stomach to science after he croaks, so I get it. Â I mean have YOU ever seen one human being put away a dozen pumpkin muffins in one sitting? Or drink 15 beers with nary a buzz afterward? Crazy. Â Anyway, BillboardÂ also felt it was pertinent to let us know this bit of information: Â ”During her Billboard interview, Perry suddenly realizes that the hoodie she’s wearing is Mayer tour merch. ‘I can’t believe I’m wearing my boyfriend’s shirt!’ she giggles, a bit abashed.”
Well now I’m unabashedly barfing in my mouth. Â Thanks, Katy!