• Fri, Sep 27 - 3:32 pm ET

Simon Cowell Pretends To Be Single In The Most Awkward Clip You’ll See Today

Are you ready to feel creepy-crawly in your own skin? Because I have a video of Simon Cowell to share with you that will fulfill your daily awkwardness quotient and then some. (Or you could just come to the Crushable office for like fifteen minutes, and let our odd behaviors take care of things that way. It’s your call.)

So this video. It’s great for a lot of reasons, and I barely know how to start. So you know how Simon Cowell accidentally got that lady pregnant? And how said lady (Lauren Silverman) happened to be married to a friend of his, and Simon denied he was the baby’s father, and then somehow she proved that he was, and the original marriage broke up. A reeeeeally romantic story, right?

And then somewhere among all those denials and issued statements, Simon decided he really did want to be a dad after all, now that he basically was one and realized that the creature of his loins would undoubtedly learn how to operate Google one day. So probably time to start pumping the brakes on those negative responses.

Case in point, this video from X Factor. It was filmed before any of this stuff came out, but only aired last night, and it’s an interaction between Simon and a contestant. Simon asks him if he’s single and the following interaction goes down:

Contestant: “I am single, I just haven’t found the right girl yet.”

Simon: “Okay. I know how you feel.”

Demi Lovato: “Hear that, ladies?”

That in itself would have been fine, just proving that A. Simon didn’t want people to know that he was seeing anyone and B. that Demi Lovato is my dream come true on primetime television. BUT. X Factor couldn’t leave it there. They just couldn’t. They elected to pause the broadcast to deliver the following voiceover into the ears of the American public, accompanied by a typed scroll:

‘This performance was previously recorded. We are pleased to report that Mr Cowell has indeed found the right girl. Best of luck, Simon.’

Good, great, nice save. That wasn’t awkward at all. “He totally has met the right woman, he just didn’t know she was the right woman until she announced her pregnancy and trapped him into raising a baby with her! And now he’s soooo into it and she’s the woman of his dreams!”

Goooood luck everybody. And with that, we return to our previously scheduled broadcast.

(Image: Brian To / WENN.com)

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  • Olivia Wilson

    What, you’re saying that there are people who willingly enter into relationships without being trapped? Nonsense!