Last night Into the Woods released the first photo of Meryl Streep dressed up like a witch. For the movie, of course. They weren’t just like “oh heyyy girl, here’s a photo of someone you love dressed like someone who lives in the dark shadows of your mind.” But nevertheless it will live forever in the dark shadows of your mind. Right in the place where that photo of Beyonce at the Superbowl lives. (But not as far back as where that photo of Michael Lohan wearing a mesh shirt lives.)
As much as I love Meryl Streep, I hate witches. There, I said it. With the exception of the Sanderson Sisters, I can’t stand them. Stepping out with their pointy black hats, flaunting their flying brooms and asking the grocery store manager at Trader Joes where they can find eye of a newt. Ugh, just thinking about them makes my blood boil more than a cauldron over a hot flame. But with all that said (aloud, finally!), I will say that I’ll give Meryl a chance to prove to me that witches aren’t the worst.
And althought I’ve never seen the musical, I will admit that I’m pretty excited to see the movie next year. Mostly because it’s starring almost everyone I know and love, from Anna Kendrick to Emily Blunt (who’s name I just said in my head with a British accent) to Chris Pine. Even though the whole Sophia Grace casting stunt caused some controversy, I think it should be pretty good. Especially since they replaced her. No offense to Sophia Grace, I just think the role should go to someone who’s done a little more acting. Also, yes, I know, I’m judging a child, my ticket to Hell awaits me. As does Meryl Streep dressed like a witch. That will be my eternity, having to stare at her every day as she crawls closer and closer to me.