Remember back in April when sources spotted Charlize Theron and Seth MacFarlane eating sushi together? And remember how we all thought that the sushi date meant they were dating because it’s impossible for a man and a woman to eat together without wanting to have sex with each other. Then remember how we never heard about it ever again and completely forgot about their super sexy sushi date until this very moment? Okay good! I’m glad we’re all on the same page now because we have to talk about E!. Also Kevin. But first, E!
So just mere moments ago I was cruising through the Internet, minding my own business, when I saw that E! had posted an update on the Charlize/Seth story. Obviously I clicked right away, the only thing I love more than love is an update on love. And then I was obviously disappointed to see it was a non-story that they decided to report on for no reason. The headline literally reads, “Seth MacFarlane and Charlize Theron Still Not a Couple, Dinner Date Strictly Platonic.” Uhhh E!, if they’re still not dating, then you’re still not required to report on it. No need to let us about things that are NOT happening in Hollywood.
Also there’s no need to say things like this, “Ah, nothing like a dinner date to get people talking. Again…Sure enough, the sighting has stirred up yet another round of speculation,” when you’re pretty much the only people stirring up speculation. (Also when you’re the people who were helping to stir up the April speculation.) Seriously, here are the only three sites that come up when you search “Charlize Theron dating Seth MacFarlane” in Google News.
E!, we gotta a lotta love for you, but we gotta ask you to keep the “not happening” news to yourself. Otherwise we’re going to have to call Papa Ryan Seacrest to come down from his castle in the clouds and talk to you about spreading not-rumors.
(Photo: Devone Byrd,PacificCoastNews.com)