You guys! Nina Dobrev and Derek Hough apparently just started dating! Isn't that, like, the cutest thing ever! (I mean the fact that they think we're going to believe they're actually dating, not the idea of them together. The idea of them together is more perplexing than adorable.) Welcome to the world of fakelationships! We're happy to have you!
It's hard for me to take theme seriously as an item for a whole host of reasons, but let's begin with the the most scandalous one — the fact that there have been umpteen blind items alleging that the only reason Derek's sister Julianne dated Ryan Seacrest for so long was as a cover for Ryan and Derek to secretly be together. So my brain is already pretttty amenable to the idea of Derek being gay, which would make him decidedly less likely to date a lady, even one who's best friends with his sister.
But the real nail in the coffin for the believability of this story is that they leaked it to two media outlets at once. Two 'insiders' went to two different magazines on the same day and gave two different comments confirming their relationship. How coincidental and totally believable! What's your angle, ladies?
From Us Magazine, we have a tale of love found in the most unexpected places: in the gene pool of a best friend, and on WhoSay, where Nina posted a photo of Derek with the caption '@derekhough Those of us touched by your light got to watch you brighten up the rest of the world. Keep shining!'
"[Nina] was hanging a lot with Derek's sister Julianne. Then she fell for him."
Whoopsie daisies! But don't worry, guys! It's not one-sided! Derek knows how to have feelings too!
"Derek is smitten with Nina. He said he hasn't felt this way for a girl in a long time. …Everyone approves!"
You guys. He hasn't felt this way for a girl in a long time. Maybe ever! Mostly it's just lithe little dandies like Ryan, but isn't it nice that he's branching out? Apparently at the Emmy's Style Lounge on September 19th, Derek was looking for shoes that he specifically said were 'for his girlfriend', and 'texted Nina for her size'. Sigh. Oldest trick in the book, Hough.
And meanwhile, over at Life & Style, we're being told that the two of them have been dating for months already:
"They were set up by Julianne. It got serious really fast and they're inseparable."
THEY ARE INSEPARABLE. THEY HAVE NEVER BEEN SEPARATED. Which is weird, because when I went sniffing around, I couldn't find a single photo of them together. Which is why you get to view the results of my foray into Microsoft Paint at the top of this page.
"They're already saying 'I love you'. Now they're talking about having her go to DWTS to support him."
What is this new trend of saying 'I love you' immediately? I hate it. Liam Hemsworth and his new lady Eiza Gonzalez just did the same thing and it's very off-putting, so quit it you guys. Let's keep it to FaceTime for the future:
"Nina was on her way to the airport while Derek was making the press rounds. He was holding up his Emmy to her and she was so excited for him!"
Yes yes, girls, it's all very exciting. Before they found love in a hopeless place (Rumored Homosexualityville) together, Nina was linked to her Vampire Diaries costar Ian Somerhalder for three years until their split in May, while Derek has previously pretended to date Lauren Conrad, Cheryl Cole, and Shannon Elizabeth.
(Image: Adriana M. Barraza / WENN.com, Josiah True / WENN.com)