Sometimes you think you really know a group of people, like I do with the ladies of The Real Housewives of Miami, but then they up and do something that surprises you. It just goes to show you that no matter how many hours you spend on your couch in your underoos, watching these people go about their lives, you never really know a person, y’know?
But anyway, last night was really illuminating for my relationship with these powder kegs, because they were all dropping some serious knowledge on me that I wasn’t expecting. And I’m about to drop it right back on you, because fair is fair. Enjoy — The 16 Most Surprising Moments From Real Housewives Of Miami Last Night:
- I didn’t realize that Joanna really is bicoastal right now, living in Miami with Romain and living her own life in LA. I just assumed because she’s on RHOM that she was a full-time Miami girl, even though she’s said differently.
- Lisa can put both her feet behind her head. I’ll admit it — I’m impressed.
- It turns out that Alexia is a lot tougher than I thought. I didn’t give her enough credit for strength it must have taken to get through Frankie‘s recovery and to be raising a problem child like Peter by herself.
- Lisa brought THREE SUITCASES for a weekend trip. Damn girl.
- I knew Joanna was into PETA and stuff, but I had no idea she had her own rescue facility and five dogs of her own!
- I can’t beliiiiieve the cops were called for that altercation with the cab driver. Pull it together, humans.
- This conversation about masturbation with Lisa, Joanna, and Joanna’s mom is not anything I ever needed to know about.
- Also I can’t believe Joanna still hasn’t asked Lisa to be in her wedding!
- Lea is brought to tears simply by thinking about how Joanna’s living the American dream. TWO TIMES SHE CRIES ABOUT THIS. Once in real life and once in her one-on-one interview.
- Adriana is requiring her wedding guests to change into a 1920s outfit halfway through.
- After finally asking Lisa to be in her wedding, Joanna is now giving her an ultimatum about which ceremony she can be in because she doesn’t want to share a bridesmaid with Adriana. You know, because of that whole physical assault thing last season.
- Alexia’s mom wants to have therapy sessions with Peter. Yeah, I really do not see him agreeing to that.
- When Peter calls his dad a pimp, nobody corrects him. So I guess…he was? Does anyone know anything about this?
- Just the rules and regulations surrounding procuring a Birkin bag were really surprising and overwhelming to me. You have to like…know someone in the store, and prove that you deserve it or you’ve earned it or whatever. This is insane behavior.
- Joanna and Romain have been seeing a sex therapist, and I’m just shocked we haven’t seen that on camera yet.
- At dinner with Joanna’s bridesmaids, I was really surprised to see Joanna’s mom siding with Lisa in the bridesmaid controversy instead of with her daughter. More power to you, because I think it’s the right choice, but it is Joanna’s wedding.