Remember that time the usually prim ‘n proper Gwyneth Paltrow went on The Ellen Show last spring and openly admitted to growing a garden down there. A full and glorious garden full of roses and tulips and Goop archives and organic chicken cutlets. A garden so full and so glorious and so full of general goodness that it extended beyond the usual boundaries and trickled down her thigh. Yes? Then maybe you remember how she said that her team had to trim her garden down before she wore a dress with a thigh slit — lest anyone see anything they shouldn’t. Yes, you remember that garden? Great! Then you won’t feel too out of the loop when Ellen DeGeneres and her get to talking about it again during today’s interview.
And sure, I’ll stop speaking to you like I’m Chrissy’s mom in Now and Then. Seeing that it is hump day and all, I’ll go ahead and just say it…pubic hair. Gwyneth Paltrow has it and she says she has it in surplus. It’s not really a garden, just a whole bunch of hair down there.
While I would hate to spoil the cliffhanger ending for you in this follow-up interview to Pubic-Gate 2K13, I will say that it will leave you on the edge of your seat. Just biting your nails and twitching nervously and foaming lightly at the mouth. Okay fiiinneee, I’ll spoil it for you. Gwyneth did not confirm or deny if she’s still attempting to bring ’70s style bush back in style. There. I said it. And now you know what we all don’t know. May we spend the rest of our day completely distracted by this mystery!