You know what I was just realizing? I’m kind of a negative person. I’m sure you guys realized that long ago when you noticed that I spent my entire day sitting in front of my computer passing judgement on famous strangers, but that realization was a long time coming for me. (I’ve never been the fastest with connections.)
So instead of being a Grumpy Gloria clattering away at my desk writing more posts like yesterday’s Celebs Who I Thought Were Hot Until They Opened Their Mouths, I decided I should maybe turn that frown upside down and write from the opposite perspective. So instead of super hot celebrities whose personalities turned me off, I decided to write about the ones whose personalities turned me on! And if I were still being a snark, I’d take this opportunity to mention that they’re not all of them the most conventionally attractive creature on the planet. But I’m not that person anymore.
You see, I have this thing where I can’t truly be attracted to a celebrity unless they seem like they have a good personality and we’d get along super well in real life. (Sorry fellas, I know that’s a really devastating blow for you famous bros.) The guys — and one lady — on this list are in luck, though! Because I can totally see a future for us! So congratulations! I’ll stop talking so you can rush ahead and excitedly search for yourselves on this list.
1. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH
No surprise here.I was feeling really full of myself for not being attracted to little Bennybatch, and then I made the mistake of watching Sherlock, and oh damn it was on.
2. JAMES MCAVOY
You watch Penelope one time and all of a sudden you’re convinced that you and James belong together. Top of my crush list FOREVER AND ALL TIME.
3. MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL
Welcome to the list, lady! Your brother used to be on here too, which is admittedly a little weird, but then he got a little too smarmy for my tastes. No offense. But you — you are a glorious, kind-hearted, compassionate, empathetic creature (in my head) and I have a lady crush on you (in real life).
4. HARRY STYLES
I assumed I’d be immune to the power of boy band members after I hit my mid-twenties, but Harry’s charms in This Is Us proved too strong for me. And yes, I paid money to see that movie. #sorrynotsorry (I did that because I’m told that youth find hashtags attractive. Can anyone confirm?)
5. JASON SEGEL
Totally not the physical type that I’m attracted to, but I can’t say no to a funny guy, y’know? I think it was the bloopers for How I Met Your Mother and Forgetting Sarah Marshall that finally got me hooked.
6. JOSH CHARLES
Point one: he distinctly resembles Sam the Eagle. Point two: I don’t give one eff because his personality on The Good Wife is THE LITERAL HOTTEST.
7. SKYLAR ASTIN
I was kind of bummed at the beginning of Pitch Perfect that the romantic lead wasn’t more attractive. And then he started acting and I was like, “JK totally fine with it.”
8. JOHN GALLAGHER, JR.
Same deal as Skylar — when I first started watching The Newsroom, I didn’t think John was going to give me any trouble. And I haven’t had too many stirrings for him in the second season, but oh my god in season one he was sex personality-fied.
9. MARTIN FREEMAN
I mean I put in one of the Sherlock guys, so why discriminate? He’s just so besweatered and charming and earnest that I can’t resist him.
10. RICKY GERVAIS
I can see with my eyes that Ricky Gervais is not the world’s most attractive human. And yet all my brain and my emotions want to do is hang out with him and swan about in his ridiculous laugh.
11. JIMMY FALLON
This was an early discovery for Young Alexis Rhiannon. I know everyone was annoyed by Jimmy on Saturday Night Live because he was always breaking in sketches, but that just endeared him to my foolish teenage heart. And now he’s the world’s most adorable late night host and all my longings have been vindicated.
12. JASON SUDEIKIS
Hey fella! You didn’t snag me with your hooks of attractiveness until I saw you doing that stupid dance on SNL.
13. TARAN KILLAM
And speaking of SNL, hello Taran. How does one show harbor so many secretly adorable humans?
14. ADAM GARCIA
Right but did you ever see Coyote Ugly??
15. CHARLIE DAY
The closest I’ve ever been to being attracted to the Tasmanian Devil. That’s like…baaaaarely a beard, but again, anyone who can make me laugh with this much regularity deserves a slot on the list. Pun intended.
16. JOHN KRASINSKI
The Office may be off the air, but my crush on Jim Halpert from season two will live forever.