• Tue, Sep 17 - 2:50 pm ET

Jessa Duggar’s Courtship’s Moving So Fast That She Might Get A Full-Frontal Hug In Before Marriage

Jessa Duggar Courting Ben Seewald

If Nicholas Sparks and the Bible conceived a child together, it would be Jessa Duggar’s courtship with Ben Seewald. Or so I overheard Jim Bob Duggar say when he tried to pitch a spin-off show based on his children’s courtships to TLC. You see, 20-year-old Jessa Dugggar’s entered into her very first courtship. It’s kinda like dating, but without all that icky stuff like casual conversation and human contact and privacy. Okay, fine, I’m exaggerating. They’re allowed to touch twice per date. But only so Ben can see if Jessa’s body is strong enough to house 19 of his sperm for 9 months each.

“Dad allowed them to do a side hug when they were officially courting,” Michelle, 47, explains. “Jessa and Ben have said that was the only contact they would have, when they initially greet each other, when he comes to visit for their first hello, they have a quick 30 second or less side hug and a goodbye side hug and they agreed that would be the only contact they should have.”

One side hug hello and one side hug goodbye. And one long,sensuous glance across the dinner table while their parents discuss if Jessa’s dowry will be enough to make up for the fact that the Seewalds are bringing another woman into their family.
“How about we toss in 10 kids under the age of 10 along with that denim skirt factory I promised you,” Jim Bob half-joked to Mr. Seewald.

“But doesn’t that just include more girls?” Mr. Seewald teased back

“Unfortunately, yes” said Jim Bob, no longer joking, “I curse my wife’s uterus every day for saddling me with me so many of them.”

And lest you think that this relationship’s just a way for the Duggars to offload one of their women, it’s also a way for Jim Bob and Michelle to see if they still have what it takes to flirt like the teenage heathens they used to be. I mean, help Jessa flirt with Ben.

Jessa and Ben met in church, Jim Bob says, and then asked to correspond via text and on the phone. The Duggars agreed – and were kept in the conversation as the couple texted each other, mostly asking each other questions about theology and scripture.

Theology and scripture. Which will soon be followed with conversation about women being subservient to men and children raising children. Oh to young and in love and a Duggar woman!

(Photo: Facebook)

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  • Amanda

    There is no need to be so condescending towards the way that other people live their lives. They are more conservative and so they take a different approach to dating than other people do. They probably like theology and scripture and consider the other person’s views on them very important if they are going to go into a marriage. There is no need to be so judgmental and to act like you are better than them because you have different standards.

    • Jenni

      Do you think it’s possible to build a healthy relationship at 20-years-old if your parents are monitoring all your texts? Also, isn’t part of parenting learning to trust that your grown children will make the right choices?

    • Amanda

      Yes. You can build a healthy relationship even if your parents are monitoring it. I happen to know two extremely healthy couples who went through the courting process. They have both been married for a few years now and have some of the strongest relationships I know. Their parent’s rules might have seemed strict and unreasonable to some people but it helped keep them accountable in their relationship to only talk about things that they deemed as appropriate given their beliefs. If you have a healthy relationship, I don’t see why your parents can’t know what’s going on in it.

    • Jenni

      But the fact that her parent’s don’t trust her to make the right choice at 20 makes me wonder when they will trust her. I fear that the answer is after she gets married — which means that she’s getting handed from her father to her husband.

    • Amanda

      She still gets to make her own choice. She can choose to marry this guy or not. And it’s not a trust issue. It’s about accountability. As a Christian family they are going to want to hold each other accountable. I am sure that her parents trust her to make these decisions, they just want to help hold her to the moral values that the whole family holds.

    • pushkin

      Bravo, Amanda! Christians are always fair game to denigrate. These bloggers would never have the balls to call out Muslims or Buddhists for their odd courtship rituals.

    • upstater

      Thanks Amanda. View like yours are not heard often here. This family is different, yes, but people love to hate on them because they just don’t understand how this family can be so HAPPY and LOVING by simply following theif [conservative] beliefs and living simply. I love the Duggars, many could stand to learn something from them.

    • Molly

      Like what? Hate? Bigotry? How about blanket training or any other the other disgusting practices that are advocated by the Pearls (who the Duggars follow)? Or maybe the teachings of
      Bill Gothard? Are those things we could stand to learn?

      I think what you see on the show vs the reality of their belief system are two different things. I don’t mock them because they are conservative, christian, or different. I mock them and call out the bullshit because they are horrible people who spout horrible ideas and are affiliated with designated hate groups, shady practices, and a cult.

      But hey! If those are things you think people should learn, that is your business.

    • Polyamorous Mom

      I;m really curious, what is blanket training? (says Poly Mom on a conversation about christian values. oy.)

    • Jenni

      You place a baby on a blanket and spank it when it moves off the blanket. After the baby gets spanked so many times, it learns to sit still. #Obedience

    • MCR

      It works very well for spaniels. Of course, dogs can grow up repressed and servile and it’s no great loss. It might be a small disadvantage if you’re raising human beings.

    • Polyamorous Mom

      im going to go cry now.

    • MCR

      I had no idea they followed the Pearls’ system. Surprising that they’d admit it on the air, assuming they did. The Pearls have advocated whipping (or “switching”) children as young as four months. Their books have come up in child abuse cases, including one child’s death during a “discipline” session based on the Pearls’ books. I don’t follow the Duggars’ show, but I’m surprised I haven’t heard more controversy over these things.

    • persephone

      They’ve mentioned it in passing, then TLC shut it down because they don’t want the bad publicity.

    • msinva

      TLC did, as they learned a hard, expensive lesson with the Gosselins.

    • HH

      I don’t know why the Pearls haven’t been arrested for child abuse. They aren’t even punishing their chldren for misbehaving! Misbehavior is willful refusal. Infants and toddlers can’t do that! Furthermore, the Pearls advocate SETTING UP THE KIDS to do things wrong so they can then be punished. That doesn’t teach discipline…it teaches “dont’ do this or mom and dad will hurt you.”

    • persephone

      They’re beaten into happiness. They’re taught that if they don’t smile they’re being rebellious and will be beaten. Of course they smile all the time. They aren’t happy.

    • Jenni

      Can you please point me in the direction of a hit show about Muslim and/or Buddhist families’ courtship rituals?

    • persephone

      I don’t think Buddhists have odd courtship rituals.
      I don’t approve of any courtship that does not allow those involved to say no or to have no contact, so the desert religions all disgust me.

    • HH

      I’m willing to be some of them ARE Christians. I am…and that’s how I know they have a distorted, appalling view of God. God doesn’t think women are just wombs.

    • Jenni

      But they don’t trust her because they’re supervising her texts.

    • Amanda

      I believe it’s accountability, not because they don’t trust her. And neither of us can prove that it’s either a trust issue or an accountability one, so it’s a moot point.

    • Molly

      Accountability is just another word for not trusting her. It is a bullshit control tactic. If they are such an awesome family with such great values don’t you think that their teachings would have had an impact?

    • persephone

      If all they’re discussing is theology and spirituality, then they’re not learning anything about each other.

    • HH

      Exactly. The kids will never grow up…..because they’re always accountable to their parents. It takes a great deal of courage to leave your family and abandon their customs. They will become outcasts if they do. How do I know? Because I was one of the kind who DID leave.

      Ask ex-Amish what they must deal with if they decide to pursue their own lives.

    • msinva

      Good for you, for making your own choices. I’m sure it’s been difficult and frightening.

    • persephone

      What else is she going to do? She’s been brought up to be nothing more than a baby factory in the guise of a SAHM. She has no job skills. If she leaves the family, she will have nothing. No money, no job skills. She will be shunned. And it would mean turning her back on everything that has been drilled into her since she was a baby. She’s brainwashed and unemployable.

    • Amanda

      And regardless of any of this, your article reflects none of the concern that you have put in these comments. Your article is just openly mocking this family that has a different value system than your own. It’s rude and uncalled for.

    • Jenni

      I think valuing men over women is wrong. The Duggars value men over women. So yes, I will mock their value system.

    • Amanda

      Where in the world do you get that from? You sure made up a whole scenario about it, but I don’t see, from watching the show, where you would get that idea.

    • Jenni
    • Amanda

      Ok. This is where we get into Christian doctrine. As a Christian family, they are going to believe in the Christian doctrine of submission. Submission is NOT what most people believe it to be: just constantly rolling over for whatever suits your husband’s fancy. In a Christian marriage, the husband and wife do what people who are in love usually do: they commit to making each other happy. So the wife will do what she knows will make her husband happy. And the husband will do what he knows will make his wife happy. They discuss the major decisions they will need to make together and try to reach a mutual agreement. Just how a healthy relationship should work. If they cannot come to a mutual agreement, since Christians believe that the man is the head of the household, he gets to make the final say-so. Now, the husband can then choose to stick to his guns and do it the way he wants to or he can choose another way. He is supposed to choose the way that will be the best for his entire family.

    • MCR

      This is the problem with what is sometimes called American Christianity, which is almost a denomination in itself. It seems as if a lot of their lifestyle choices derive not from doctrine or moral teachings, but from a slightly romanticized view of the United States prior to around 1960. Women in skirts and aprons, staying at home making pies is not “Christian,” it’s just conventional in certain parts of the world. In the same way, what they call “Christian parenting” is just a strict form of child care they’ve adopted, with nothing to do with parenting as practiced by Christians in any other place or time, and with no basis in dogma except what is used to rationalize it after the fact. It’s the same attitude that leads some missionaries to push people of other cultures not only to adopt their religion, but to wear Western clothing and take on American customs. It’s sometimes hard to distinguish between religious beliefs and simple nostalgia.

    • persephone

      Except that they don’t approach it that way. They believe in the husband making the decisions and the wife having no input unless he requests it.
      They also beat their children since they were babies. So their values are evil.

    • Lisa

      The Duggars aren’t really Christians. They are Gothardites. Big difference even if they don’t see it themselves. That said, I agree with your explanation of submission. In the Duggar’s case, I’ve never seen Jim Bob unilaterally make a decision. He always consults Michelle and they are pretty like-minded so I can imagine that they agree on most things naturally.

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      In the meantime by writing about them, giving them hits, publicity. Well Taylor, Miley and Gomez wouldn’t have careers without the tabloids, how about Duggarland.We are now a nation of tabloid thinkers. Just because you are good at it and cute with your comments doesn’t mean you are not adding to increasing stupidity.

    • MCR

      But you won’t mock it as well as a man would.

    • IdiocyAbounds

      Kind of like this site values headlines and traffic over truth?

    • Jenni

      Haz u truth?

    • Lisa

      Genuine question here: how do they value men over women? The rules that apply to the Duggar girls also apply to the Duggar boys.

    • Molly

      You do realise that this family advocates such awesome ‘values’ such as blanket training, right? And that the eldest son works for a hate organisation? Or how about that they support some amazing groups and individuals that are designated hate groups? Or how about that they are associated with disgusting individuals such as Bill Gothard?

      This family deserves to be mocked. Beliefs are not some untouchable thing. The Duggars are not a nice family. They are a cult and a horrible example of what a family should be.

    • IdiocyAbounds

      Then we should all “mock molly” because you just made a total gag out of yourself with your hate filled UNEDUCATED spewing of 3rd world intolerance.
      The “values” you just displayed is nothing but third world closed minded sewage.

    • Colonel Duke LaCrosse

      .No. The Duggars are twisted. And no one has to stand around and say ‘oh, well since it’s their lives, no one else can comment’. Everyone comments on everyone’s lives all the times. The Duggars have dedicated their lives to spewing hate speech but their insane fans can’t seem to deal with a little logic. I hope they all die in a fiery bus crash.

    • Linda Lee

      Tit for tat, sweetheart! Since you have expressed that curse on someone else, it will probably fall upon yourself! Talk about spewing hate speech! Pot calling the kettle black!

    • Colonel Duke LaCrosse

      I would gladly jump in a fiery bus if it meant I’d never have to be subjected to that insane family ever again. They’re uneducated Neanderthals and they need to be destroyed.

    • msinva

      They don’t need to be destroyed. Just turn them off.
      The only favor I’d ask them is to restrict their ‘influence’ on politics to their own state. They really need to stay out of mine (Virginia), not that it helped Ken Cuccinelli much a couple weeks ago….

    • msinva

      Are you a witch?

    • Lisa

      Stupid question.

    • persephone

      Geez, Linda Lee, all you seem to do here is scream at people and wish evil on them. That doesn’t seem Christlike.

    • Lisa

      Twisted is a good word for them. I don’t think they are cruel or evil. I think there is a lot of genuine goodness in them along with many fine qualities. The problem is their lack of exposure to other viewpoints in their formative years. It makes perfect sense that they would buy wholesale into cult philosophy of Gothard because they don’t have the foundation to make informed choices.

    • Colonel Duke LaCrosse

      I think they are cruel and evil. It is cruel to keep children in such a bubble. It is evil to look at gays and think they’re less than you. It is cruel to keep having kids upon kids that your kids have to raise just because you and your hillbilly husband won’t pull out. It’s evil to use the bible (which is nothing more than a book written by someone who isn’t their fake god) to throw hate at people. I use logic to throw hate at people. They use a fantasy then try to justify it. They all need to be rounded up and executed.

    • persephone

      Your comment seems utterly unrelated to Molly’s. Are you sure you’re commenting properly?

    • Colonel Duke LaCrosse

      Amen.

    • Linda Lee

      Not bloody likely!!! The bad families in this day and age, are the ones that don’t teach and EMPHASIZE moral values to their children, both male and female. I am blown away at the moral mess the country; nay, modern day mankind is conforming to. I am a young 59 year old that made some really bad choices as a teenager; got married just two weeks shy of my 19th birthday (and NO, I was not pregnant). But I have grown older and wiser, and have seen the error or my ways, actually in my mid-forties! The way I saw things when I was young was that of a self-centered, and outright selfish individual. That’s the driving mentality found in ALL genders of that youthful mindset. I know, for a fact, though, that sometime in your forties or thereabouts, you will all look back at your folly, and recognize that you were out and out STUPID!!! Been there; done that! The rose-coloured glasses have been removed, and I see things as they are MEANT to be seen, not as we WANT to see them!

    • Colonel Duke LaCrosse

      What moral values are they teaching their children? That women are less than men and that gays are damn near subhuman? A) 59 isn’t young. You’re dying. B) If you want to live a life that is mistake free, go for it. But I’ll take my mistake filled life over your sanctimonious BS any day of the week.

    • msinva

      That is the ‘error’ of YOUR ways. No one else’s.

    • persephone

      I can mock anyone whose values are bad. Their values are bad.

    • msinva

      Unfortunately, the ‘right’ choice = Jim Bob’s choice.

    • Colonel Duke LaCrosse

      I think the fact that they don’t trust their kids to date speaks of a larger problem on their part. If they are SOOOOO sure that they have raised their kids the way they want them to be, why the need for constant supervision? My dog needs constant supervision because he’s an idiot and, as a first time dog owner, I made mistakes. But if I knew that I could trust him enough to leave him loose in the house while I went to work, I would. I wouldn’t hover over him and constantly worry about where he is if I knew that he was doing what he was supposed to. I think, deep down, the Duggars know they are idiots and they can’t afford to let someone get close to their family if they aren’t the same level of insane.

    • Melissa_PermissionToLive

      You can’t really build a relationship, you will only feel free to talk about what is acceptable in your family system, leaving a whole let left to surprise you after marriage. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/permissiontolive/2011/02/listen-for-the-singing-my-courtship-story-part-1.html

    • HH

      Amanda, this girl isn’t allowed to pick her own husband. The parents effectively do so for her by deciding whether or not a boy can court her.

    • persephone

      These marriages don’t really work. They stay together because they can’t divorce, but most of them are very unhappy under the polished fundagelical sheen.

    • msinva

      But, aren’t you being the same of my comment?
      I am free to feel as I wish about this topic, and I’m fairly sure I am not alone in that opinion. If you disagree, sobeit.

    • SamB19

      Tell that to those crazy cult members.

  • SL

    Can Jim Bob be a better example of a pedophile???????????????

    • rosie

      wtf?

    • msinva

      He illustrates an utter contempt for women except as fetus banks.

    • Linda Lee

      It’s a joke, you dunce! Egads! You take life FAR TOO SERIOUSLY!!!

    • msinva

      Nice personality there….
      But I do agree – they’re all a joke.

  • SL

    What a cult. someone help these children escape from their wardens, ie parents, ie Gods.

  • ChiChi

    Sure I don’t believe with their views. Which is why I don’t watch that show. If you disagree with them, why are you watching it? It confuses me.

    • MCR

      I don’t watch the show, but I can certainly understand the concept of becoming familiar with varying beliefs and attitudes, even those I don’t agree with.

    • ChiChi

      I don’t mean that I ignore people I know with beliefs like that. In fact, one of my close friends (unfortunately, she moved.) grew up in a family like the Duggar family. I just don’t get why people watch things that they are only going to poke fun at. It’s like making fun of Honey Boo Boo. Sure, I don’t agree with all of the parenting techniques, but I am not a parent, and I don’t think like her family. So I don’t watch their show. I wouldn’t ignore them in ‘real life’, I believe that is a form of racism. I understand some of their beliefs, though as I don’t watch their shows, I don’t know every last part. It’s their beliefs.

      And btw, I don’t agree with many of the religions I study, but a major part of World History is on religion. I don’t drop out of that class. I learn and find some of those religions very interesting.

    • MCR

      This site mostly exists to satirize popular culture. In other words, to find the funny or ridiculous side of it, and possibly point out its various hypocrisies, flaws, and negative effects. The Duggars are presenting their view of things on national television. It’s only fair to allow viewers to answer back, I think, and discuss the pros and cons of their approach, even if it’s done using humour.

    • ChiChi

      You know, you’re right. I am being completely sincere! Sometimes, I get a bit..okay a lot intense! Sorry!

    • MCR

      No need to be sorry. I thought you made some very worthwhile points, and it was a pleasure sparring with you.

    • ChiChi

      Thank you. The pleasure was mine.

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  • GreenEyedLilo

    It makes me a little concerned for any Duggar kid who wants to do crazy things like kiss their boyfriends or girlfriends, joke around with them, and go to movies with them. (As well as more than a little concerned for all the girls.) If they were immigrants or non-Christians, a lot of people would be slamming them. But they’re white, telegenic, and Christian, so they have a reality show and we’re supposed to “respect” their views that make them control their daughters this harshly.

    • Lisa

      They boys are controlled just as harshly.

  • BurningEden

    I’ve watched this show for years and it’s just creepy at this point. So creepy. They act like ‘boys will be boys who can’t help themselves’ to the point that the sisters have to yell out “NIKE!” so that the boys will look down at their shoes to avoid seeing a sexy woman. They need to trust that their adult children, especially the girls who have been pounded over the head with their gender roles, will do the right thing. Adults should be able to talk about more than scripture and theology if they are in a courtship with hopes of marriage.

  • KanneMe

    Wow. Wow. Wow. I would much rather have the Duggar’s naïveté and sincere affection than your deliberate distortion and snark any day. EVERY day. Kindness matters.

  • msinva

    They can all believe what they want. But Josh Duggar needs to not come back to Virginia to affect elections with the pap he spews.

  • IdiocyAbounds

    Are you kidding me? I do not suppose anyone of you commenting clowns thought with your own brains for even one nano second that anything this idiotic has to be BOGUS?

    None of the quotes by the Duggar’s are remotely true, and everything else is totally messed up

    Whether you like that family or not…do NOT allow your self be made into a dumba$$ for the sake of viewers.

    • Jenni

      These quotes came straight from Michelle Duggar, so are you accusing her lying?

  • RJ

    Full frontal HUGGING!!111!!!???

    That steaming SLUT!!

  • Victoria

    I think it’s sad that this is the way America sees Christians. We’re not all like this, people!

  • HH

    The girls don’t really have a say in whom they marry! Evidently several boys have asked to “court” Jessa, and were denied by Jim Bob. If she liked one of them – too bad. Her parents must approve and give permission, although she’s over 18 – effectively picking her husband for her! Ewww…..

  • Deb

    Monitoring their texts when they are at this age is insane control. Makes you wonder if JimBob will also seek to monitor “proper sperm placement” on the honeymoon when they marry.

  • nikkiisback

    It seems to me, that the author has a real problem with this family. Maybe its the dripping sarcasm, but frankly, despite the ultra conservative outlook of this family, I find it a breath of fresh air to find some resemblance of a family who believes what it teaches and practices what it preaches. I applaud this family and hope that these kids continue to grow in faith and spread the word about faith, humility, chastity, and above all, God. Bravo, Duggars, Bravo!

  • Judy Tarasek Mentoranimaladvoc

    This family are the biggest hypocrites going! If they are so religious, then why is it so acceptable for them to have a TV show. They are full of crap as far as I am concerned. Any normal parent realizes that one of the most important things to teach a child is self-discipline, but not by restricting their every move the way this family does. They expect their children to live in the bubble they created and not live in the real world. They are creating a fake world for themselves based on their own intepretation of the Bible. As a result they spout hate for everything outside of their circle and unfortunately have a public forum for it. Anyone who watches this show and keeps it on the air is as nuts as they are.

  • DQ

    Wow!!! When does this family decide to hand out the “Kool-Aid”? How many times does this country have to see the danger in religious fanaticism before something is done? If this was a church and not a family, the FBI would be all over it as a cult. Just because you are brainwashing and abusing your own children it doesn’t make the crime any less horrific

  • AdaBetina

    Why are you criticizing them so harshly? If they’re happy, leave them alone! I understand not agreeing with some of their ideas; but spewing angry gossip and hate about them is worse than any long denim skirts or side-hugs. Respect, people. I personally think the Duggars are doing a fine job, in their own way, and their kids seem to be kind, responsible, smart human beings. Obviously we need more of those in the world.

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