If Nicholas Sparks and the Bible conceived a child together, it would be Jessa Duggar’s courtship with Ben Seewald. Or so I overheard Jim Bob Duggar say when he tried to pitch a spin-off show based on his children’s courtships to TLC. You see, 20-year-old Jessa Dugggar’s entered into her very first courtship. It’s kinda like dating, but without all that icky stuff like casual conversation and human contact and privacy. Okay, fine, I’m exaggerating. They’re allowed to touch twice per date. But only so Ben can see if Jessa’s body is strong enough to house 19 of his sperm for 9 months each.
“Dad allowed them to do a side hug when they were officially courting,” Michelle, 47, explains. “Jessa and Ben have said that was the only contact they would have, when they initially greet each other, when he comes to visit for their first hello, they have a quick 30 second or less side hug and a goodbye side hug and they agreed that would be the only contact they should have.”
One side hug hello and one side hug goodbye. And one long,sensuous glance across the dinner table while their parents discuss if Jessa’s dowry will be enough to make up for the fact that the Seewalds are bringing another woman into their family.
“How about we toss in 10 kids under the age of 10 along with that denim skirt factory I promised you,” Jim Bob half-joked to Mr. Seewald.
“But doesn’t that just include more girls?” Mr. Seewald teased back
“Unfortunately, yes” said Jim Bob, no longer joking, “I curse my wife’s uterus every day for saddling me with me so many of them.”
And lest you think that this relationship’s just a way for the Duggars to offload one of their women, it’s also a way for Jim Bob and Michelle to see if they still have what it takes to flirt like the teenage heathens they used to be. I mean, help Jessa flirt with Ben.
Jessa and Ben met in church, Jim Bob says, and then asked to correspond via text and on the phone. The Duggars agreed – and were kept in the conversation as the couple texted each other, mostly asking each other questions about theology and scripture.
Theology and scripture. Which will soon be followed with conversation about women being subservient to men and children raising children. Oh to young and in love and a Duggar woman!