This morning, while you were going about your normal person life, maybe sitting at your desk or eating a breakfast sandwich, or commuting to work, Britney Spears was doing something really incredible. Somewhere over the majestic deserts of Las Vegas, she was vomming in a helicopter.
I don’t want to make you feel bad about your choices or anything, it’s just that I highly doubt you were in any kind of flying vehicle before noon, let alone in Vegas airspace, let alone regurgitating your undoubtedly very expensive breakfast of diamond batter or vegan flakes or pot pie or whatever food kick Britney’s on right now.
Let me set the scene for you. Our girl Brit was due to appear on Good Morning America for a special announcement (which turned out just to be that she’s starting a two-year residency in Vegas), and no sooner was she off the devilbird than she revealed to the GMA anchor and, like, a million of her fans that her flight was not without incident:
“Actually, I got sick in the helicopter. I was like, ‘Oh my god,’ but this is amazing.”
This is the miracle of Britney — would you have been composed enough to put together a sentence that eloquent shortly after ejecting the contents of your stomach into a chic Prada purse? (That’s the only thing fashionable to throw up in, once you make as much money in a week as Britney is about to for this residency.) But the nice thing about being a mega-millionaire is that if one helicopter makes you throw up, you can spend the rest of your life punishing all the rest of the helicopters on the planet for it. That’s your perogative.
Y’all that will be the last time u EVER see me in a helicopter. Love u @GMA & that was INCREDIBLE but helicopters are not for this girl
— Britney Spears (@britneyspears) September 17, 2013