In the first few weeks of school, it’s pretty standard to see the overall appearance of a school’s students shift from “I spent an hour on this outfit” to “can you tell that I woke up ten minutes ago?” That’s why, if you really want to know a person well, you pay close attention to the thing they wore on the very first day of the year. You may not think one little outfit can encapsulate an entire personality, but that’s where you’d be wrong. Because, in all reality, the outfit that someone chooses to start the year with indicates what kind of year they’re expecting it to be. Trust me, it’s science. A science that, incidentally, I excel at.
So, let’s look back a week or so to what you (and your friends, I guess) wore to school on the first day back. We’re self-identifying here, ya’ll.
You’re not kidding around when it comes to being fashionable at all times, even if you are spending eight hours with your feet tucked under a 14 square inch desk. Also, you’re probably really into living in the moment. I know this because if you wear heels to school on everyone’s first day back, you definitely didn’t take into account the ridiculous hallway crowds that form during every single class change.
The thing about jeans is that there are so many sub-categories. You could be a wild card if you went for fun and functional (otherwise known as FUNctional) with a pair or of printed jeans, or be moderately mild if you chose a solid-colored pair. Or maybe you’re like me and stay all the way simple with a pair of black jeans 365 days of the year. It’s like a choose your own destiny book.
You don’t have a care in the world, friend. It doesn’t even matter how fancy you try to get with a pair of sweatpants because they’re still sweatpants. I personally don’t have anything against them because I’m inclined to love anything that’s so closely related to blankets. However, I hear that Karl Lagerfeld despises them. So, it really just depends on who you’re trying to impress, here.
A Ball Gown
Well not literally a ball gown, but something equally as fancy. Or literally a ball gown, I don’t know your life. What I do know about your life is that it’s full of you being the overdressed one in the room. But, you know what? Do your thing, Cinderella. Someone’s got to do it.
Any Form Of Gym Clothing
What are you doing? Why are you wearing a sports bra and leg weights to school?
You thought a lot about your first day. You shopped and trained and studied your class schedule in preparation for it and the only thing that could ruin it is accidentally leaving a tag on your clothes and having someone point it out to you. Yes, I’m speaking from experience.
This is the hardest one, because the person who puts in an exactly medium amount of effort into their first day outfit are hard to categorize. Yeah, they care about school and how they look while they’re there, but they’re also not into being anything but comfortable for the whole day. They’re the equivalent of heating your food up in the microwave for the perfect length of time and not having any still-cold chunks in the middle. So am I saying that someone who keeps it casual on the first day is like microwaveable food? Maybe.
Whichever one of these categories you end up falling into, the important thing to remember is that we’re all the same after about one month into the school year. After waking up at 7 a.m every day, one quickly loses all fashion sense and starts making outfits out of whichever pieces of cloth are closest to them when they wake up. Remember, guys, it’s science.