I think it’s fair to say that un-following a significant other on Twitter is arguably the new “break up with someone via Post-It.” Or via text message. Or even via note-passing in study hall. Either way, when a celebrity un-follows their fellow fakelationship partner on Twitter it’s a sign that trouble is brewing. In the case of Miley Cyrus ceasing to follow fake fiance Liam Hemsworth, I think it’s a sign that Miley’s PR person was bored and got to it before Liam’s.
I, for one, am riveted by this information. What could have caused such a drastic move? Their union seemed so sturdy and sacred and believable! I’m guessing Liam finally had enough of pretending that he can handle his betrothed, whom I sometimes refer to as Twerkasaurus Rex, and hasn’t had enough of January Jones‘ ice box. I kid, I kid.
I keep reading reports about Miley and Liam’s relationship being volatile, troubled, and turbulent (Thank you as always, People). I honestly don’t understand how any of those adjectives apply here, because the only word that comes to my mind for this relationship is “nonexistent.” I never see trouble between the two of them because we pretty much never see the two of them. We’re all just assuming there’s trouble because Liam is really hot, seemingly intelligent and is also good at generally keeping his shit together. Miley is embarrassing. In about a million different ways. She’s a mess. I mean that pretty much sums it up, no?
Anyhoo… Liam is still following Miley on Twitter, but he’s also not as social-media obsessed as she is. In the meantime, we’ll all wait for the official break-up announcement. Or for January Jones to pop out another mystery baby with dark hair, blue eyes, and an Australian accent.