Here’s something I never thought I’d type for another twenty years or so: the little girl from Spy Kids is a divorcee who is engaged to be married again. There are just so many mind-boggling things about this story. First of all, Alexa Vega is 25 years old. When did that happen? Did she skip over a couple of years somewhere? Second of all, she got divorced at 23 after already having been married for TWO YEARS to a man thirteen years her senior. Third of all, she’s already moving on to the second hubby. Rumor has it she’s planning to go into early menopause in the next couple of months and has already scheduled a hip replacement for early 2015.
This time around, Alexa’s husband-to-be is Carlos Pena, a member of the group Big Time Rush. Carlos is 24. Whoa, robbing the cradle this time around, are we, Alexa? The two of them have been seeing each other since late 2012. Alexa posted a picture of Carlos to her Instgram account calling him her fiance, and Carlos posted a picture of Alexa wearing her new finger bling while drinking a Starbucks iced coffee. And it’s not even a venti! Hey, if you can afford a ring like that I think you can afford to give your girlfriend a little extra ice. Because if we’re being honest the only thing separating a grande from a venti is lots and lots of ice. But like fancy handcrafted hipster ice.
Sorry for straying off topic a little bit there, but my head is reeling so much from this news that I needed something familiar like overpriced coffee to settle my mind. Because can we all please go ahead and agree as a society and a universe that this news is really silly? I mean, I’m surprised to read about people in their twenties getting married for a first time, let alone a second. What’s the rush? The big time rush, in this case. Don’t you want a few more years sipping iced coffee without a ring on your finger? Or maybe Alexa knows that the old adage “third time’s the charm” has actually been scientifically proven to be completely true, and she just needs to get this marriage out of the way before she can move on to hubby #3. She’s a spy, so she should know.