Robert Pattinson Doesn’t Get Roles Because He Doesn’t Have Talent A Six Pack

Robert Pattinson at German premiere of Cosmopolis May 2012Oh Robert Pattinson, you sweet sweet treasure. Aren’t you just the most precious thing ever, opening your mouth and making silly words come out of it? It’s adorable that you think you’re missing out on parts because you don’t crush it out at the gym on a regular basis and not because of a suspicious lack of talent at doing anything besides brooding and sparkling in the sun.

In a recent interview with the Arabian version of Harper’s Bazaar (sorry, let me say that again — the Arabian version of Harper’s Bazaar), R-Pattz reveals the real reason behind the fact that he’s not rolling in parts:

“I think I don’t get some jobs because I don’t go to the gym. I am literally the only actor in LA who doesn’t have a six-pack. Although I am going to have to change that.”

You sure, buddy? You sure you’re not getting roles because you had to have your abs painted onto your shirtless body in Twilight and not because you started openly badmouthing the franchise that made you an international star immediately after wrapping on said franchise?

You don’t think alienating your colleagues alike by criticising a project you worked on together has anything to do with it? Or mocking Twihards for being dumb enough to be fans? Of you? You don’t think that might figure into some casting decisions? Okay, buddy. I’m sure you’re right — this is all six-pack based, aka it’s time for you to pull it together and get yourself to a gymnasium:

“I don’t ever want anyone to see me doing exercise. Even though I am doing it, I still think it’s so lame and embarrassing; I am doing it out of necessity, that’s all.”

Okay, I just…Robert, I’m trying to help you, here. Oh my god, dude. I don’t want to say that this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard…but this is definitely the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. How can you care about your body and your health so little that you think even being seen as trying is embarrassing and lame? WHO ARE YOU AND WHO BROUGHT YOU HERE, ROBERT PATTINSON? If you care about everything so little, why do you bother even being famous?

There are so many career paths in the world where you never have to talk to reporters, star in vampire movies, get muscles painted on your body, or even step in a gym. GET REAL. I’m so annoyed.


Share This Post:
    • Olivia Wilson

      Wow, imagine how self conscious he must feel standing next to Taylor Lautner, then.

    • Mo

      Wow, this is possibly the most pathetic article I have ever read. Sense of humour, get one. You clearly know nothing about Rob or his career path and your hatred for Twilight clearly clouds your judgement. You don’t like him? Fine, but to say he is talentless, is as ridiculous as this lame article.

    • Emi

      He’s the douche to end all douches. Truly. What a talent-less hack. Bet you get all the married ladies microwaving their Lean Cuisines while fantasizing about this narcissistic whiny boy start yelling mean things at you for this article though. But I agree! He’s insulted each and every person who made him famous and richer than rich.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Yeah it’d be different if he was more legit, but he just comes off as a complainer to me.

      • Emi

        In a recent interview he referred to himself in the 3rd person as a “brand.” So much for being an ‘artist’ [snort]. Yet somehow he always insists on playing the pity card. He’s a PityPatt.

      • lizs22

        hey emi. Why don’t you just focus on Kristen “prostitute”articles they are many ;) Oh wait.. It’s hard to face the truth. yet you are here still obsessingly trashing Rob because he dumped your idol ;)

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        You wink a lot. Are you okay?

    • guest

      Are you the dumped Kristen stewart? You sound painfully dumb. Its called a sense of humor.

      He hates stalkers like you that obsess over him just because he dumped their Edward fantasy. LOL Get a real life and stop crying over Twilight.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I don’t think you read this post very carefully.

    • 2loveybunnies

      I love Rob, but him blaming his lack of roles on his lack of muscles is kind of lame. We all know that Rob talks shit all the time and probably doesn’t even remember what he’s said by the time he walks out of the interview. And, he did sorta did badmouth the Twihards and the franchise, didn’t he.

    • Mandy

      Well yes but at least he can string a sentence together. Is that your real name by the way? Love this article and all the ‘buddy’ and ‘dude’ hilarious. Such journalistic talent. I love how an article is picked over and all the negatives pulled out. He seems like a genuinely nice guy, stop with the negativity. Go have a cup of tea and a lay down for a bit love.

      • Nikki

        Find a rich successful men and educated beautiful women for friendship, fun, love and romance. Welcome to___billionairefish.com___the largest billionaire/millionaire club for elite singles and people who’d like to meet them. Have a try and good luck! *_*

    • Hannah

      whoa. the level of pressedness is stunning. It’s actually laughable too. He’s mostly joking in his interviews.. I can’t believe all this anger I’m seeing. Lol. may I suggest Xanax or anger management?
      And too bad the person who wrote that didn’t get facts straight since he has some pretty good projectsç He just announced an amazing movie with a great team behind it. So yeah don’t worry hard about him.

    • Amelia

      yeah in every interview lately he sounds like a tool and other than twilight which he dissed, his movies don’t make money….there’s a reason….

    • Haters gonna…

      Are you serious? First off, saying he’s got no talent, let’s see if Cronenberg, Herzog, Michod and Marsh would agree. Second, goofing on HB(Arabia), really?!? You’re writing this “piece”, and I use “writing” loosely, on CRUSHABLE.COM. Pause and let that sink in.
      And last, those quotes you have such a problem with are said in a light and fun way. Either you can’t grasp basic reading comprehension, or my guess is you knew that but chose to use them as some weapon for this “hit piece” of yours anyway. After reading this garbage, you calling Robert talentless is priceless. What a hack!

    • Rachel

      I really just think he was joking. The few interviews i’ve seen of him he’s always laughing and kidding around. Don’t think i’ve ever seen him do a serious interview. Also twilight is so old so it’s really quite lame to judge him solely on that. I’ve seen some films he’s done outside of that and I think he’s not a bad actor, he’s just not doing big name, attention drawing films. Also twilight was so poor on everything (not just the acting) that it’s hard to take any of those actors serious.

    • Haters gonna…
    • Jay

      Robert Pattinson is talented and he can act

      • Alexis Rhiannon


      • crossfire72

        Yes Robert can act. act like a fool

      • Alexis Rhiannon


    • lizs22

      lol this article such a joke and far from the realitiy since he has some amazing projects..

      What’s made me laugh more is that Kstew fans comments here. Still acting like Robert dumped them. Lol. Talk about pathetic? Yeah thought so… First they follow him, stalk him like fans, write and talk about his stuff 24/7. Woah, we have a stan there! ;)

    • lizs22

      Go back to your little twitter and trashing Rob here you miserable Kstew stan ;))

    • catherinedove

      NONE of this ‘cheating scandal’ nonsense up thru now has been about ‘Freedom of Speech’. While those photos may have been tampered with – the actual ‘getting caught’ part was real; and these gossip rags have basically been running a huge smear campaign using Kristen & Robert against their fans for MONEY – for over a year and long before that. The majority of rumors we’ve seen since the original scandal have been flat-out lies. But, remember when the papz ‘pranked’ Kristen with “I heart Rob” on her truck? That wasn’t long ago – they aren’t done with her as far as their misogynistic games, go. They won’t stop until we stop them. SEARCH: explaintwilightbreakingdawnending on blogspot to get the scoop and sign the petition to set them and us free from these dumb PR assaults.

    • dIck&jane

      Robert Pattinson is an arrogant, revengeful, insensitive, tactless boy. He insults who he has worked for, he dates his ex’s girlfriends for revenge, he uses people, especially women and anybody who will be his drinking buddy. When, exactly does he practice his craft? During his hangovers? Changing houses every year – must be nice in this economy. Some people literally cannot keep theirs because they are employed you narcissistic lunkhead! If you want good parts, GET DEEPER, BECAUSE YOU SURE AIN’T NOW!

    • dIck&jane

      I meant Unemployed.