Can someone tell Tracy Anderson how to set a trap for a Lena Dunham, because I think she’s going about it all wrong. All you have to do is line a room with mirrors on all sides, make a line of cupcakes up to the door, start pumping the Icona Pop, and post a sign on the outside that says, “Definitely don’t wear clothes in here, especially if you are the voice of a generation.” Works every time.
But apparently Tracy isn’t hip to these tactics, because she still hasn’t managed to get her lean, carb-free hands on little Hannah Horvath to start shrinking her down into bite size and taking away her lady power by making her body-conscious! Although I will say — it’s clearly not for lack of trying. She’s even extended her efforts to the set of Lena’s show (which, incidentally, is the only show Tracy watches):
“I send trainers to the set. But I will tell you that [Lena]’s not allowed to transform her body right now.”
Did you hear that? Because I’m obsessed with it — Tracy Anderson SENDS TRAINERS TO THE SET. Preferably dressed as ninjas who drop down from the ceilings and try to get Lena in a ‘suspended dance band’ before she squirms away.
But there was that second part, too — even if Lena wanted to get in tip top shape with one of Tracy’s patented ‘teeny-tiny’ workout makeovers, she wouldn’t be allowed to. Girls show runner Jenni Konner won’t let her:
“[Jenni] is a diehard client of mine and a dear friend, so we joke, and she says, ‘You can’t transform her yet.”
Because guys, it’s kind of a thing at this point. We’ve already established that Lena is the kind of gal who revels in a little pudge because it makes it so much more powerful when she reveals her truth (takes off her clothes). I mean, you never see Alison Williams naked eating cake on the toilet, and if you didn’t it wouldn’t be Brave, y’know? Don’t ask questions.
(Image: Apega / WENN.com)