When Lady Gaga first started crazying up the music industry, everything that she said was wide-eye-worthy. But, just when we thought that she didn’t have any more shockers up her sleeve, she blesses us with these quotes on last night’s episode of Watch What Happens Live! The episode was called the ExtravaGAGAnza, which sounds like something that will turn out to be really quotable. And, what do you know, it was! Thanks Gaga for always giving the world something to look at each other quizzically about. You’re the best!
So without further ado, here are my ten favorite quotes from last night’s WWHL. They aren’t in any specific order because I don’t want to make any of them feel bad; they’re all special in their own ways.
1. “[My wig] weighs 50 pounds.”
This may have been the very first sentence out of her mouth and so she had to make sure it had just the right amount of, “Gaga, u ok?” And, really, it had enough and then some. I then went on to spend the next 90 seconds trying to figure out the physics involved in her preparation for the interview to make sure that her head wouldn’t fall to the ground at any point.
2. “The most memorable sex I’ve ever had was in the woods — on the floor.”
That sounds kind of uncomfortable and dirty, but she didn’t look horrified when she was talking about it so maybe it’s one of those things where you just had to be there.
3. “I actually do like pussy. It just depends on whose pussy it is.”
Andy Cohen thought that he was being daring by asking Gaga if she’s ever had a lesbian experience but she made his question look ridiculous when she responded with something along the lines of “D-u-h, Andy. Where have you even been all of this time?”
4. ”I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for my meat dress. It was a statement about equality because we’re all equal and we’re all flesh. Also I didn’t want to talk to any celebrities and it smelled really bad.”
I’m ready to admit that it will take probably another decade for everyone to forget about her awards show steak dress, but before you do that, you should at least know that it wasn’t for shock value! Well, not entirely for shock value. Gaga explained that she was trying to make a statement in support of gay rights and equality. Although, I do think that that statement would have been more well-received if she had, you know, mentioned it once or twice.
5. “Be careful with molly.”
Instead of glamorizing drugs, Gaga took the opportunity to answer Andy’s question about her raver girl past in a way that discourages her fans from using drugs. She acknowledged that she’s done it in the past but that she also wants her fans to avoid it. Would ya look at that? You can still be edgy and not promote dangerous things to people who admire you.
6. “They may say I’m a woman, but underneath it all I’m allll man.”
When she revealed that she is obsessed with the Real Housewives franchise, she got asked by a fan to make up her own intro tagline. This was it.
7. “I think that people need to stop putting the letter ‘t’ in front of the word work.”
Shots fired to Miley Cyrus, our nation’s most twerk-obsessed citizen.
8. “I feel that flip-flops are the downfall of many relationships. It’s a gateway drug to no sex. DONT DO FLIP FLOPS.”
This one stands out only because there was a poor fan sitting front row just trying her hardest to hide her flip-flops from Gaga after she said this. That girl probably went home barefoot after setting her shoes on fire outside of the TV studio; we’ll never know.
9. “I used to be a stripper.”
I think that I might have known that she was a burlesque dancer, but I feel like that is different from a stripper, which is what Gaga declared herself as. So, you’re about 10 years too late, but if you happened to hang out in dingy clubs on the Lower East Side a few years ago, you could’ve seen Lady Gaga in all of her (edge of) glory.
10. “Keep your f*cking feelings to yourself.”
Because she was so upset about One Direction getting booed at the VMAs that she couldn’t help but rant about it again. Aww.