[UPDATE: They've broken up officially]
You guys, the funniest thing just happened. An insider spoke to Liam Hemsworth, and a little bird fluttered the news straight over to Hollywood Life, and it turns out we’ve been totally wrong about his relationship with Miley Cyrus! We figured that since they never discuss each other in interviews, or are seen out together in public, or make any progress on that silly old wedding they’re supposedly still having, that they were probably broken up.
Plus there’s that tiny little thing where she’s getting progressively naked-er and weirder haired in every appearance, to the point that I’m almost convinced she’s having a quarter life crisis. I mean call me crazy, but once you put your aggressively twerking rump on a married man’s thrusting crotch and ride around naked on a wrecking ball for no reason, I figure maybe the ship has sailed on the whole fiancee thing? I don’t know. Call me old-fashioned.
But it turns out they’re still together and very much in love! And he’s ultra-proud of her erratic behavior, he just keeps that information secret and safe because they’re so in love:
“He is very proud that she is doing the thing that she loves and he supports her, he just doesn’t broadcast it with a parade for the whole world to see.”
See, this is such a shame. If people threw parades about what they believed in — especially famous people — it would make life so much better for me as a human being and as a celebrity blogger.
“He likes being private with her and their relationship, whereas she doesn’t. But you know what they say — opposites attract!”
Don’t you get it?? SHE wants their relationship to be public and HE doesn’t! Because he loves her so much! So they respect each other’s interests and make loving compromises. Isn’t that romantic??
“He can’t really control what she does and this video is another way he’s letting her do what she wants to do because it’s not affecting him or his career — it is all on Miley.”
Oh contraire, Hollywood Life, I’d say this is abso-lutely affecting his career. Because it’s making me sit here and go, “What the eff does Liam Hemsworth have going on in his life that he can’t shit or get off the pot with this girl? Is he less attractive than I thought? Shall I stop going to his movies? I think I shall.”
But bottom line, we’re wrong, you’re wrong, everybody’s wrong. Liam still loves Miley, he just loathes everything she does. Aka true love.
(Image: Daniel Tanner / WENN.com)