ALERT. This is news, people, so gather round your transistor sets and fetch your decoder rings, because I’m only going to say this once — stylish new mom and universally-acknowledged maker of excellent decisions Kim Kardashian has decided to go blond.
And not a honey blond, or a tawny blond, or a blond that would look semi-natural with her coloring…if such a thing even exists, considering how dark her natural hair color is. Nope! Instead, we’re talking a fried-out yellow blond number with dark roots. The photo above is from when she went a more believable blond back in 2009, but what she’s rocking now is the kind of dye job that makes me go, “Damn, girl, did you pay for that?” Except I probably don’t want to ask that question, because it’s highly likely that she did pay for it, and the amount she paid was almost certainly more than my monthly rent. I wish I was kidding.
Here’s what her stylist, George Papanikolas, has to say:
“I think she wanted to go blonde this time because she wanted a big change. It was Kim’s idea to go blonde, but everyone around her had some influence, including myself…we went over a lot of photos and looks for inspiration, which is the best way to communicate hair color. That way we were able to come to an agreement of a blonde that is realistic considering her natural hair color, and would be the most flattering to her skin tone.”
But you know what this hair does an excellent job of? Drawing the eye up and away from the body, just like they teach on What Not To Wear. I can’t speak for the entire internet, but I’ve been so taken with this new look that I’ve entirely forgot to shame this woman for the natural process of gaining weight while carrying a child to term! I’m so embarrassed on behalf of my profession! (We’re still calling blogging a profession, right? Even though most of my commenters are pretty sure it isn’t one?)
Don’t get me wrong, guys — I’m perfectly aware that it’s the most natural thing in the world for a woman to gain weight while she’s pregnant, and for that weight not to drop automatically off of her body in small clods once she expels an infant. I just think that if you’re going to obsess about your post-baby body and stay hidden from sight until you look the same as you did before any of this miracle of life stuff happened, you’re being pretty transparent when you dye your hair before debuting your bod.
It’s just those old Kardashian senses tingling, I bet. They can’t stay underground for long before they start aching for attention, and since we haven’t seen Kim since she gave birth to North West in June, she had accumulated a serious backup of ‘lookatme-itis’. Extremely severe, but curable. Take one treatment of bleach on the hair and head once a week and report back to your local doc with moment-to-moment updates.