If you’ve somehow been living your life without being totally obsessed with Kiernan Shipka, you are in desperate need of a psychologist. A child star psychologist, to be exact. Turns out, when she’s not busy being fabulous as Sally Draper on Mad Men, 13-year-old Kiernan helps child stars deal with their issues. We were first introduced to Kiernan’s practice by Funny or Die in 2011, and now we have the glorious sequel, in which Kiernan advises child actors Pierce Gagnon from Looper, Aubrey Anderson-Emmons from Modern Family, and Jared Gilman from Moonrise Kingdom.
Watch Dr. Kiernan as she helps little Pierce figure out time travel, completes a particularly puzzling puzzle with Aubrey, and gets to the root of Jared’s Wes Anderson fascination. And she does it all while looking stylish and displaying a dozen times more poise and class than this girl currently eating a slice of pizza over her computer keyboard could ever dream to possess. A few more of these little videos and Kiernan will have pried Miley’s foam finger out of her hand, gotten Lindsay to stay out of the clubs forever, and even convinced Shia LaBeouf to de-douchify himself. I have total faith that she can accomplish this nearly impossible feat.
If my Nostradamian prophecy comes true and all the celebrities under age 20 eventually rise up and control the universe, harnessing their charm and precociousness to render adults powerless to their adorable ways, I’m pretty sure Kiernan will be their leader. And Chloe Moretz will be the sheriff, whipping her knives around at anyone who crosses her. It’s going to happen, and there will be a dramatic AMC series made about it within a year, with the next crop of child stars playing the ones who inspired the series, and on and on we go.
If you somehow need another reason to watch this video besides Kiernan Shipka’s glowing presence, first of all, go sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done. And second of all, it’s a video of adorable child actors being adorable together. What more do you want?