In an effort to get away from all the controversy surrounding her VMA’s performance, Miley Cyrus and her left nipple went on a girl’s getaway to Paris. For the adventure Miley threw on the top third of a sweater and her favorite leathery tube top from 9th grade. Oh ana pearl necklace because she’s a lady. All in all, I would say it’s a look that says, “nip slips apply here please!”
While rumor has it that her right nipple also joined them for their European adventure, there’s currently no photo proof that it actually made the trip. However if I know Miley Cyrus like I think I know Miley Cyrus, it will make an appearance at a more opportune time. Perhaps after her new music video for “Wrecking Ball” debuts later today. “One nip slip before, one nip slip after” is how that old publicity stunt saying goes. (And somewhere, out there, Bradley Cooper’s wishing that he had chosen that stunt and not the Suki Waterhouse lovefest stunt.)
While some people are still recovering from that time we watched Miley masturbate with a foam finger during a nationally televised TV performance, I welcome the nipples. I would hate to think that all that criticism tamed Miley Cyrus. In fact, I’m hoping she still has a few raunchy surprises in store for us before the year ends. Perhaps a music video that doubles as her annual trip to the gynecologist. Or maybe a “leaked” sex tape that features her, a mannequin come to life and a childless alligator looking to break out of it’s normal routine. Or if we’re really lucky, a full-length movie featuring her, her right nipple and her foam finger on a coming-of-age road trip.