In the past three days Lamar Odom has apparently checked into rehab, checked out of rehab, gone missing, bought sushi, and basically continued to make Khloe Kardashian‘s life miserable. Rarely do I ever sympathize with the trials and tribulations of the very rich and very famous, and I never sympathize with anyone whose last name is “Kardashian,” but I honestly do feel a little awful for Khloe.
Recently she’s taken to Twitter to express snippets of emotion, keeping them vague enough to not be pathetic but also obvious enough for us all to know the exact subtext of each selfie. And guys, it’s really starting to depress me. Khloe is the only member of her family I have actually found to be humorous and–sometimes–not totally annoying. Gone are the funny tweets about sex and jokes about her irritating sisters. Now all we’ve been getting is melonKhloe tweets (See what I did there? Yeah, you’re welcome.)
I wish it were night forever
— KhloéKardashianOdom (@KhloeKardashian) September 7, 2013
Now look, if my husband were allegedly addicted to crack cocaine, cheating on me with armies of skanks, and basically just MIA, I probably wouldn’t have time to tweet because I’d be busy driving around town with a shotgun, looking in every nook and cranny for my gigantic husband. But I get what she’s doing. She’s venting, she’s letting everyone know how she feels about her separation with Lamar without really saying exactly how she feels (See shotgun reference above- I’m just guessing). She’s like a 15 year old girl, but with super serious problems. Hey, at least she looks great while doing it!
Until this mess gets straightened out, I’ll be pining away for the “Old Khloe” tweets, like this gem:
Takes a lot of confidence 2wear white spandex workout pants in the gym. Some of this ladies positions r not good in any pants. #MorePower2Ya
— KhloéKardashianOdom (@KhloeKardashian) August 4, 2013