It’s finally happening, comrades. Now that I have another birthday under my belt (I turned twenty-six on Monday, so all your congratulations and gifts are already four days late), I’m starting to lose any and all brain function. And as we all know, quality predictions of movies are pretty much the first things to go.
I know I’m losing my touch because I was almost positive that Gravity, that new space movie starring George Clooney and Sandra Bullock, was gonna be a total joke. But now it turns out that it’s getting Oscar buzz, and another movie I was convinced would be all up in the awards season, Diana, might be a total dud. Sure, the first trailer had zero words and only one princess, but I was still holding out hope.
What is going on with me? Who stole my killer instincts and my blogger intuition? Was it Lena Dunham? Because I was totally wrong about her, and her Twitter feed will never let me forget it.
I can’t officially answer that question for you, since the movie isn’t out in the United States until November 1st (it had its world premiere last night), but according to the earlier reviewers, what we were doing was putting together a film with no new, surprising information about Diana Spencer’s life, adding crappy wooden dialogue, and slapping it all together in a way that looks like a cheaper version of a Lifetime movie.
Critics have used terms like ‘fabulously awful’, ‘terribly, terribly dull’, ‘atrociously intrusive’, and ‘excruciatingly well-intentioned’. Yowzers. Stay tuned for the Crushable drinking game, guys. It sounds like you’re gonna need it.