Justin Bieber And Chris Brown Have Struck Up A Friendship, So Welcome To My Hell

Chris Brown and Justin Bieber at Haiti telethon February 2010I’m gonna start a petition that says Justin Bieber can’t have an Instagram account anymore, because every photo he posts there makes my life more miserable. Yesterday it was that photo of his friend Poo Bear holding what looked like drugs in the form of a little baggie of white powder, with the caption ‘@poobearmdma whatchu got in your hand.’, and today it’s photo proof that Justin has struck up yet another ill-advised friendship — with a violent offender this time, who goes by the name of Chris Brown.

Earlier this morning, Bieber posted a photo of himself and Chris standing on top of a spray-painted half-pipe, showing off the artistic handiwork below. It turns out that the half-pipe is Justin’s because of course it is, and it’s emblazoned with his initials, because of course it is again. The photo is below, and was captioned with:

‘Breezy spray painted my half pipe. He’s super dope’

Justin Bieber and Chris Brown spray painted half pipe Instagram photo September 2013

First of all, doesn’t that sound just the teensiest bit double entendre-y to anyone but me? And second of all, thank god that it’s now decorated with that little rodent from Ice Age because WASN’T IT LAME WHEN IT WASN’T. Everyone would come by and laugh at Justin’s half-pipe because an undecorated half-pipe means an undecorated man, and an undecorated man is utterly without valor. Which I guess gives a little insight into his rapidly-expanding tattoo sleeve, as well.

This friendship is the absolute worst, because these two are individually the absolutely worst, and I have zero faith that they will bring out anything other than the absolute worst in each other. So in honor of that, I’m just going to distract myself from this all-you-can-eat buffet of worstness by imagining Justin asking his mom to take this picture of his new friend Breezy. He would’ve asked grandma to do it, but he’s not quite ready for his new buddy to see his big boy bottom, and Grandma Bieber is always pushing for that.

Mom come take a picture of me and my friend Breezy! Or Grandma can do it, but she’d want me to show my but in it. You know how cute she thinks that is.

(Images: Jeff Daly / WENN.com / Instagram)

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    • Jill O’Rourke

      Justin looks like a cardboard cutout in that top photo.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        We should be so lucky.

    • Rachel

      Just a question, why are you even following bieber on instagram? I just pretend like he doesn’t exist so that I dont get annoyed.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I had to unfollow him on my personal Instagram, but he keeps doing things on there that require a write-up. Sigh. This is the life I have chosen.

    • Lisa

      As soon as I read this I thought, “but of COURSE they are friends. I can’t believe I didn’t anticipate this.” Sigh… Next we will see Courtney Stodden hanging out with Heidi Montag (are they already friends?) and Lindsay Lohan hanging out with…you know, at this point I don’t care what she does, actually. Few people annoy me more than Bieber, Chris Brown, and all of the Lohans. Phew – thanks for letting me get that off my chest! :-)

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