R.Pattz Admits To Actually Masturbating In His Movie, But Tell Me, How’s Your Wednesday?

robert pattinson javier beltran little ashes

Here’s a fun fact that you didn’t know would be coming at you this early in the morning: Robert Pattinson told a German magazine that he actually masturbated during a gay sex scene in 2008′s Little Ashes. Because, he tells them, it’s nearly impossible to fake an orgasm. “Faking a relationship,” he allegedly added under his breath, “that’s a whole other story.”

According to Queerty, the O face we see in the movie is indeed his authentic O face. So please, make haste and get those authentic Little Ashes commemorative plates made up as soon as possible.

“My orgasm face is recorded for eternity,” he said, assuring that the gay sex scenes he filmed in Little Ashes were totally authentic because he was hard and euphoric. Faking it “just doesn’t work, so I pleasured myself in front of the camera.”

Naturally my first question after reading this quote is along the lines of “how do you say ‘I’ll have what she’s having’ in German?” Followed shortly after by “what do you mean, you can’t fake it for the camera?” Riddle me this: isn’t his entire career based on faking it for the camera? Is that not what an actor literally does for a living? Maybe it’s time someone pull him aside and explain this simple fact to him.

“Hey Rob, buddy, friend, former K.Stew luver, you know when those cameras are on, you’re supposed to be faking it right? Playing a whole other person? Oh you didn’t know that? Oh, sigh of relief Rob! This explains that entire Twilight franchise and why you looked so utterly bored during Breaking Dawn 2: Wow That Atrocity Went Down Almost A Year Ago Now.”  

At the very least, this little pep talk can’t hurt his acting.

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    • Alexis Rhiannon

      This guy draws such strange lines in his life. Jerk off in front of a camera crew? Yes, absolutely. Hold myself back from insulting a movie franchise that made me millions of dollars? NEVER.

      • northGAgirl

        How about “act like I’m in a relationship when see with the person I’m supposedly in the relationship with” …NEVER

    • Grayley Blsabe

      I cant believe I just bought an awesome silver Nissan 370Z Coupe from only workin parttime on a computer… get redirected here big57.com

      • Jenni

        Grayley, you’re going to have to back that Nissan 370Z Coupe up and tell me more about this parttime gig you got going!

      • effingreat

        -_-

    • Olivia Wilson

      Method acting: can’t live with it, can’t be believably aroused without it!

    • Cori

      Did he warn the other actor first? Because I would be super surprised (to say the least) when one minute we’re just kissing & pretending, in the next the guy started masturbating. More power to him if that’s what he wants to do, but it would be too weird for me. Maybe I’m prudish to feel that way, but whatever, no one’s paying me to have fake sex with anyone either way. Thank god, I get nervous opening birthday gifts (maybe I won’t look like I like it enough?), I don’t think I could handle it.