Just when you thought it was safe to go back to not reporting on Justin Bieber, he does something so dumb that it’s deserving of headlines again. In this case, he kinda sorta implied that his friend Poo Bear (yes, that is the name of his friend, no, we are not going to talk about it) is holding drugs in a photo that he took of him and then posted to his Instagram with the caption ‘@poobearmdma whatcha got in your hand.’
First of all, let’s point out that this is a clear instance where a question mark is necessary, am I right guys?!? Sorry to be the Grammar Police, here, but it seems like no other police are willing or able to touch the Biebs, so I’m just doing my duty to the populace.
Second of all, let’s all acknowledge that while it’s not entirely clear what Poo Bear has in his hand, it definitely could be a small baggie full of white powder, based on the look on his face, Justin’s lack of question mark in the caption (he already knows what’s in his hand! and it’s drugs!), and the fact that Poo Bear’s Instagram handle ends in ‘MDMA’. In case you’re not aware, MDMA is shorthand for a pure form of ecstasy also known as ‘molly’, that also happened to kill two concert-goers at ‘Electric Zoo’ in New York this weekend. So regardless of what he’s holding, Justin’s not doing a super job picking out his friends.
As Radar Online points out, Justin’s friends have been associated with a variety of bad behaviors at this point — from crashing his cars, to getting DUIs, to getting into fights, to associating with known international cocaine smugglers, which Poo Bear is known to have done earlier this year during a trip to Suriname. But who am I to judge, right? There’s probably an explanation for all of this. We should probably trust Poo (or Jason Boyd, as he is also called, by normal humans) when he says the MDMA part of his name stands for ‘Most Dedicated Musician Alive’. Even though that honor clearly goes to Madonna, who has gone so far as to replace all of her body parts with robot ones so that she can keep performing. And I’m sure there’s also a perfectly normal explanation for why this photo was pulled from Instagram. But maybe we’ll never know.
And this is why…you always leave a note. No wait, that’s wrong…this is why you always screen shot Justin’s stupid Instagram choices, so he can’t deny them in the morning. Because Scooter Braun has to wake up sometime, and when he does, he’s gonna scrub the internet clean of any and all evidence that his little buddy is up to any nonsense, drug-related or otherwise, and I’ll never be able to prove a thing. You’re doing god’s work, Scooter. Keep it up.
(Image: justinbiebercrew via Instagram)