• Wed, Sep 4 2013

So It’s Looking Like Fifty Shades Of Grey Got Cast Via Process Of Elimination

fifty shades of grey casting ecard

If there’s one national debate that you should be following right now, it should be the one about the Fifty Shades of Grey casting decision. There’s not one other thing going on right now in the global community that has more of a direct impact on your day to day life. That’s why I’m so happy to see that the American people are working together to right this wrong. That they’re putting their time and effort and energy into talking about what really matters.

Unfortunately, as we discussed yesterday, the American people have absolutely no say in casting decisions. Even if they totally pictured other actors in those roles and these current actors ruin everything. EVERYTHING! Sure they’ll still go see the movie en masse when it premieres in 2014, but they won’t enjoy it. As much. Their titillation level will be at 8.5 — instead of a 10.

Today we’re sadly learning that there’s even less wiggle room in these roles than any of us previously believed. So even if you file 400 Change. com petitions, there won’t be any change in this casting decision. According to an article on The Hollywood Reporter, Dakota Johnson and Charlie Hunnam got cast via process of elimination.

 Sources say the studio explored several other options before settling on the pair, who were announced Sept. 2 via tweets from Fifty Shades author EL James.Ryan Gosling was the original prototype for the 27-year-old billionaire with a penchant for S&M, but he was not interested. Garrett Hedlund was heavily courted by Universal, but the Tron: Legacy star passed in July because he couldn’t connect with the character.

That’s right, several other options got explored. They went through IMDB and called everyone on the list before Dakota and Charlie.

“Hello Meryl Streep! If you’re not busy this year, we were kinda, sorta, maybe thinking that you could play Anastatia Steele in Fifty Shades of Grey. It reminds us oh so much of The Iron Lady. Give or take the entire plot. No? Are you sure? Okay. Fine. Do you have the number for Diane Keaton? How about Joe Pesci?”

So sorry folks who are spending their time protesting this decision, but it’s looking like all your top picks said no to being cast in a late summer porno. However, don’t put all your protesting energy to waste. We could still oust Ben Affleck from the new Batman movie if we work together.

(Image: SomeECards)

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