• Sun, Sep 1 2013

Lifetime Movie Social Nightmare Wins The Award For Most Obvious Twist In The History Of Ever

Lifetime Movie Social Nightmare 2013

Holy WTF on a cracker! Lifetime movies have been so magnificent lately that I’m worried I’ll jinx it, so obviously I just knocked on three different types of wood, rubbed a lucky rabbit’s foot, and crossed all my fingers and toes. The finger thing made it hard to type, so I took the risk and uncrossed them to give you this review. Did you watch last night’s premiere of Social Nightmare? If you did, there’s a good chance you saw the twist coming from a mile away. In case you haven’t watched the movie yet, I’ll do my best to keep the suspense up, but clearly there will have to be spoilers along the way. I am beyond excited to talk this out with you.

The movie opens with our protagonist Cat (Kirsten Prout) hanging with her friend Emily (Chloe Bridges) and her boyfriend Daniel (Brandon Smith), who has a cool zig-zag beard and a part shaved into his hair, just to give you a mental picture. Cat and Daniel have a make-out sesh in her closet while Emily third-wheels it by drinking hard lemonade and pretending to talk to Cat’s teddy bear. I wish I was kidding. In the closet (cue R. Kelly stuck in my head) Daniel reveals his adopted sister’s birth mother has been contacting them, but the sister doesn’t know she’s adopted and blah blah this all sounds very difficult, but I thought this movie was about naked pictures or something. Oh, I see Cat is promising to send Daniel something special that night. That’s more like it.

We learn more about Cat, like that she’s running for class president against Emily and she wants to go to Brown and she has a “four-year plan,” which is a phrase people put in screenplays when they want to let us know that a character is smart and ambitious. But this is a Lifetime movie teenager, so I knew that before I started watching. She’s also obviously 17. Her mom (Daryl Hannah, duh) is happy for Cat and all her goals, but you can tell she’s also sad about her daughter leaving home. Well, as much as Daryl Hannah’s current face will let her be sad.

Of course Cat beats Emily in the presidential race and then gets into Brown when Emily doesn’t, because Emily is another word for “red herring.” Since Cat has this crazy idea that she’ll actually want to hang out with her high school BFF in college, she helps Emily contest her rejection with a letter. Mom helps, and she mixes up “proceed” and “precede,” which the girls then make fun of her for. Daryl continues trying to make her face sad. They then throw an Abraham Lincoln quote in there willy-nilly and call it a night.

Lifetime Movie Social Nightmare 2013

Cue later that night when Cat sees on her Facebook Buddyme page that someone has used her account to post a bragging status about getting into Brown using the very same Abe Lincoln quote. Poor Honest Abe didn’t do anything to these people. The next day at school things get worse when a website is passed around gossiping about people using photos Cat took on the yearbook camera. She gets kicked off the yearbook, a mean girl throws condoms at her, and then people make a petition to have her impeached. I can’t decide if that’s more or less dumb than the Batfleck petitions. Let’s call it even. It doesn’t help that the website also outed her VP as gay, something he only told Cat, because of course. There was a moment where I thought maybe this was a multiple-personality thing and Cat was doing all this herself without remembering.

Needless to say, Cat gets impeached and runner-up Emily replaces her, because I guess student government doesn’t work like real government. When Cat realizes Emily got into Yale, a school she had the nerve to never even tell Cat she was applying to, she does a lot of eardrum-shattering whining to Mom, who tells her she should just live at home and go to community college. Um, only if it’s like Greendale.

This is where things get weird. A creepy guy who says he’s a student but looks about 30 years old approached Cat and tells her he knows a computer genius who can help with her problem. This leads Cat to Cool D’s house, where she’s almost assaulted while the 30-year-old films it. On top of all this, the hacker told Daniel’s sister that she’s adopted, so obviously that closet-kissing romance is over. Oh, and then she gets her head slammed into a bathroom counter by a bully, gets prescribed “happy pills” for anxiety, and has her English paper switched with a plagiarized one. Why do Lifetime teens have it the hardest?

Meanwhile, it’s time for Emily’s life to be ruined. A creeper shows up with Mike’s Hard Lemonade (how original) at her door, having found her on a website called Honey Daddies. Unfortunately Chris Hansen is not on hand to ask Herbert the Pervert (Em’s words) to have a seat, and her dad has to scare him away. Emily goes over to Cat’s house to yell at her and get in the line of the night: “Who’s hacking you, Bill Gates?” Clearly Emily’s life is now ruined. Yale revokes her acceptance. She embraces Daniel to deal with things, then walks away to talk to the principal. Daniel, to thin air: “She can’t do that.”

Aaand here come the nudey pics, which are actually not nude at all, but just underwear shots. Daniel shares them with the whole school, but he didn’t do all that other stuff. How dare Cat assume that?! I’m disappointed in you, Daniel. I was digging that zig-zag beard. On top of all this, Cat gets a letter from Brown revoking her acceptance just as Emily gets one accepting her appeal. This might break the record for most awful things to happen to a Lifetime teen.

Lifetime Movie Social Nightmare 2013

Here’s where it gets great. While trying to delete her Honey Daddies account, Emily notices that whoever set it up used “precede” instead of “proceed.” This was very entertaining to me, not because I was shocked (I’d called it as being the mom at minute 45), but because they actually used the mom’s vocabulary mistake as the big reveal. I’m imagining M. Night Shyamalan using a misplaced modifier to reveal the twist in his next movie. Or maybe ending a sentence with a preposition. We of course then cut to Mom watching Cat sleep, the ultimate sign of a Lifetime villain. I knew Daryl Hannah was fishy. Get it? Fishy. Because Splash. You get it.

How obvious was this twist, you ask? I messaged my friend afterward saying I totally called it. She looked up the description without having watched the movie and replied, “Was it her mom?”

Because people in movies always figure out the mystery separately at the exact same time, Cat immediately finds her lost phone in her mom’s desk, and by peeking at her computer she learns that her mom not only posted as her and forged the Brown rejection letter, but also filmed her with a teddy bear camera. Even more reason to hide your stuffed animals, as if them possibly coming to life and killing you while you sleep wasn’t enough. Mom goes into a big lecture about how she had a miscarriage and her husband left and she doesn’t want Cat to leave her or she’ll kill herself and blah blah blah. The gist? She’s cray cray.

Emily shows up to save the day but of course Mom smashes her head into a mirror and tries to choke her. Cat calls 911 and the police get there in approximately 10 seconds. Were they already stationed outside or something? Cut to Cat and Emily rooming together at Brown, where Cat Skypes with her institutionalized mother. Yeah, whatever, I’m more interested in how much floor space they have in that dorm room. And the beds aren’t even lofted? What’s that all about?

(Images: Lifetime)

You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
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  • tanner

    saw this last night.. couldn’t stop looking at Daryl Hannahs monster face.. does she not see how distorted and terrible she looks.. if she did she wouldn’t be showing the world..

  • tanner

    about the movie.. I actually liked it.. (but couldn’t stop looking at daryl’s face throughout it).. I didn’t guess it was the mom until the photos were stolen from the camera. The only other person in the house was the mom..duh.. that was bad writing.. since the characters couldn’t figure out that one fact. Other than that.. it kind of dragged on too long with the kids at school hating on Cat. That got annoying.. the last half of the movie should have been Cat doing detective work.. Like instead of the two guys that were suppose to help her with the computer hacking… instead of them being bad (which was a waste of 10 minutes of the movie)…they should have went with that and made it more dramatic and like a mystery to see who is on the other end of the computer… that would have been much better.. when the guys said.. “it’s coming from inside your house”.. lol..

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/thesapphireempress96?feature=results_main A.J.

      I agree about the kids at school and the teachers, they were much too quick to hare on her. It’s a Lifetime movie, to be sure, but why would they believe this girl that they had known all of these years over the events of a few days? And we never saw them eat crow, either. Oh well.

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Yeah, that whole thing with the two guys was so strange and pointless. They just kept having more and more bad things happen to that girl.

  • Ria

    I missed this one but definitely want to see it. I’m hoping I can get past poor Daryl’s face. Have you seen Tall, Hot Blonde? It was soooooo good and it’s a TRUE story of a mom who was posting as her daughter online, using pics of her and flirting with guys. It ends up with a murder. There’s a documentary of it I watched a couple of years ago but the Lifetime movie stayed amazingly true to the real story!

    Anywho, I’m going to look this one up and record it:) I so look forward to your Lifetime movie reviews!!!

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Yes! I saw that movie but somehow forgot that was the twist. There’s also another sexting-themed Lifetime movie where it turns out to be the neighbor’s mom who sent the pictures.

    • sharon

      Sexting in Suburbia. :-)

    • tanner

      Yeah that was a true story.. sad… to have mother like that.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/thesapphireempress96?feature=results_main A.J.

    Was anyone else disturbed by the way that Cat’s hair didn’t move during the last five minutes of the movie, while she was at college? And I LMBO’d at “as much as Daryl Hannah’s current face will let her be sad.”

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Her hair looked really weird in that last scene! It was very distracting.

    • tanner

      Lol, regarding the hair in last scene.. it almost felt like she was getting a little sinister herself with that stare she had the last few seconds of the movie.. like she also had the ‘crazy’ gene.. and that somewhere down the line in college her roommate will pay…lol.

    • theHS

      Bahaha! i was a actually the hairstylist on this film. to tell u the truth we had too much free time that day that we decided to do something that resembled a bob. but I can see that it looks extremely weird without knowing that. lol.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/thesapphireempress96?feature=results_main A.J.

      Really? That seems like such a fun job. Yeah, I thought it was supposed to be a bob/pixie cut, but I was wondering why it was so stiff, haha!

    • theHS

      unfortunately there was no budget for a nice wig and I wasn’t about to cut Kirsten’s hair so we tucked it under and pinned it into place which meant I had to hairspray the **** out of it so that her layers wouldn’t come out. hence the stiffness :)

  • ChiChi

    It’s always the mom. Now that women don’t have butlers to do the bad things, we, as the cleaners and chefs have to do it themselves!

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Haha, I like your theory.

  • susiegalore

    Did any catch the watch and win code??? I fell asleep!!!

  • Cbalducc

    I guess “Mama Mermaid” became clingy in her middle age!
    Memo to aspiring actors and actresses: Have a backup plan in case you can’t sustain your career after making a big “Splash”. Otherwise, you’ll be doing Lifetime movies, too!

    • tanner

      She was beautiful.. her face now is scary.. and she cannot act anymore.. the teens did a better acting job.. I think her focus in life isn’t there nor her looks.. I know it’s harsh but I thought this woman was au-natural type and against any kind of face pumping. An actual face lift would have been better as it saves your true jawline and other features. I feel bad for her.

    • Cbalducc

      Just because Darryl Hannah doesn’t look like she did thirty years ago doesn’t mean she had a facelift that went wrong.

    • tanner

      I know injections when I see them.. google it she did it, she had lots of juvaderm and botox injections (that isnt a facelift by the way).. “did you see the movie”? it’s obvious. I never said “facelift”. there is a big difference, and a facelift would have been better. injections just puff up the wrinkles and make the bottom half of the face bigger. That IS what she had done.. and it looks terrible.. In an article 2 years ago she made a lot of “fun” at hollywood people who had facelifts and that they looked like “muppets”, well I guess she thought injections would be better but it made her look just as bad as one of those hollywood muppets.. guess they all got the last laugh…

  • Cbalducc

    I noticed that “The Asylum” was involved with this film. This is the studio that gave you such SyFy cheeseola as “Sharknado!” and “Mega Python vs. Gateroid”. It is too bad Lifetime and SyFy aren’t owned by the same conglomerate. Otherwise, we could see “Megathyroid at 17″ or “My Sharkman’s Secret”!

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  • Trevor

    When you first watched this, did you watch the movie that premiered right after it, “Killer Reality”?

    • Jill O’Rourke

      I didn’t watch that one, but it looked like a doozy.

  • Canspell

    This was an entertaining review. They really dropped the ball on this MFTV movie. Daryl Hannah was so crazy/delusional I was expecting her to bust out the eye-patch at the end. But the girl who played Cat was good, and did a heck of a lot better job acting than we will be seeing when Affleck tries to be Batman.

  • John Everyman

    This Was THEE Funniest Movie Ive EVER SEEN EVER. Kudos Lifetime

  • Kaylee

    The acting is terrible. The mother’s face is terrible. The plot is absurd. The naivete of everyone involved is nauseating. But the most infuriating part is the portrayal of the antidepressants. I know her mother is feeding her them, but you do NOT take antidepressants willy nilly like candy. If I hear “oh baby, I’m so sorry” or “Kitty Cat” one more time, I’m going to hurl. Normally these cheesy ass movies make me laugh, but this one’s making me angry. Your review made me laugh though, thankfully!

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Glad I could give you a laugh. Thanks for reading!

    • Bree

      The doctor gave her Alprazolam (xanax) and I could not figure out why she called it an antidepressant because it is not and it is almost instant relief and taken as necessary for panic and anxiety disorders.

  • Martha Flemmingz

    I just saw the movie this week and i couldn’t even pay attention as i was so freaked out of Darly Hannahs face. Her face is so super large and weird looking. She has had some very badly botched work done. She looks like a circus freak. She should sue and stop getting work done. We all get old.

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  • Kart180

    such a sad story but it is so wrong for her mom to do that, just let her live her life

  • http://angelasdiscountmarket.com/angela.html AngelaE8654

    What *I* want to know is how the mom was able to afford such a HUGE, beautiful house and what happened to that when she was institutionalized. Did the dad pay for it or something?

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  • CaliforniaGirl2

    Brilliant synopsis, thank you! I had a feeling watching until the end would be a waste of time, so now I don’t have to worry about that. :-)