• Thu, Aug 29 2013

The Only Liam Payne Fanfic That’s (Almost) Fit To Print

Liam Payne GIF(via)

Happy birthday to Liam Payne, who turns twenty today! As a member of One Direction, he has such worldwide visibility that his name, face, voice and whatnot have probably begun to feel familiar to you, but let me just say that until you’ve trolled the internet for fan fiction about him, you don’t know the first thing about Liam James Payne.

First of all we’re apparently not even calling it fanfic anymore. The new word for it is ‘imagines’, and Tumblr is lousy with them. There’s a surprising market for it, with many users offering to write up your fantasy. All you have to tell them is which lad you prefer, your name, a basic motif for the encounter, and whose point of view you want it to be from, and they do the rest. It’s a flourishing market.

Liam Payne perfect GIF(via)

But what I learned today, while celebrating Liam’s special day by collecting excerpts for this post, is that it’s best not to ask the fellows to play outside type. They all have their likes and dislikes, as we chronicled in our 1D eroticfanfic post recently, and even in the erotic fantasies of teenage girls, Liam is surprisingly tame. He’s really into forehead kisses, eye-gazing, and protecting you from your aggressive boyfriend. That’s just where he excels, y’know? He’s the kind of man who, even in an ‘imagine’, would rather stay in and fall asleep to a movie. It’s pretty amazing.

So here they are, you devoted Directioners — just a few examples of the only Liam Payne Fanfic That’s (Almost) Fit To Print. Please enjoy, but quietly and politely — Liam doesn’t like a lot of fanfare or loud noises.

Share This Post:
  • Olivia Wilson

    I laughed out loud through this whole thing. This is just so, so awesome.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Even in erotica, he’s still a homebody.

  • charley davidson

    “you opened the plastic container and immediately smelled Liam’s special Chicken dish” i was expecting it to be some sort of liam liquid lmao sorry

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Liam Liquid…foul.

    • charley davidson

      hahaha omg sorry

  • raeronola

    I just can’t even with this. It’s amazing.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Right?? Too much.