As I perused Twitter last night, I stumbled upon this amazing exchange between Anna Kendrick and Aubrey Plaza. While they’re both known for being amazing at Twitter, I’d never seen them interact on it before. So like a mad scientist with a background in stalking, I studied everything they said to each other. The more I read, the more I wanted to be their friend. Nay, needed to be their friend. While my friends usually kick off a conversation with “what’s up” or “you still owe me $6 for cheese fries,” Aubrey starts theirs off with “you’re bored, send naked pic.”
I can’t even remember the last time my friends requested a naked pic of me. It was maybe the spring of 2009. But that seems like wishful thinking. Odds are that it never happened and it never will happen. All those NSFW Glamour Shots gone to waste. All that teased hair for naught. My friends have no appreciation for the nude body. Or more specifically, my nude body. But whatever, all the more inspiration for me to submit my friendship application to Anna and Aubrey. I’m pretty sure that process is just like applying for college, except the personal essay is more along the lines of “give me one good reason not to get a restraining order against you right now.”
Unlike so many other Hollywood friends who show off their friendship by giving each other awards at the VMAs (looking at your Jimmy and Justin) or sitting next to each other at fancy soirees, Anna and Aubrey do it via Twitter. And that’s so normal and so down-to-earth that it really does fill me all kinds of misguided hope that I can one day befriend them. Or at the very least quote them to them if I ever met them. Celebrities like when you quote an entire Twitter conversation that they had with someone else, right? Or am I thinking of things that that absolutely do not like. It’s so hard to keep it all straight these days. While I ponder that, take a look at this casual convo from last night.