Katie Holmes continues on her mission to keep us perpetually confused about her life choices by dating Jamie Foxx. I don’t know if it’s the extra X in his last name that’s throwing me off or what, but I just don’t see the two of them together. Sure she just celebrated her one year divorcessary from Tom Cruise, but is she really ready to dip her toe back into the dating pool with another high-profile relationship? Or I guess I should say, is Jamie ready to jump on a couch for her. I mean that metaphorically and literally.
Then again, maybe I’m the one jumping into this too quickly. This entire relationship’s still based on Radar Online’s sources. Nameless, faceless sources who claim that Katie looked happy at a recent event that Jamie Foxx also happened to attend. And we all know that the only way a woman looks happy is if a man’s making her that way. Can you imagine if a woman looked happy simply because she was dancing to “Blurred Lines” at a star-studded charity event in the Hamptons?! What kind of upside-down, tipsy-turvy world that be?
Luckily for all the love skeptics out there like myself, Radar has video proof that Kate Holmes pulled a Miley Cyrus on Jamie Foxx and twerked him in the groin until the sun rose. “Here’s the video,” they pretty much say, “while it’s duh and obvious that they have chemistry, you should watch it for yourself and let us know in the comments if we’re at all off base.” Which is a surefire sign that yes, they are off base. Because guys, there’s no chemistry. There’s just middle-aged dancing. And a whole lotta of it at that. Wedding amounts of middle-aged dancing.
While it’s a blast to see Ellen (!!) get up on stage, it’s also ridiculous that anyone can use this video to say Katie’s dating Jamie and not mention that she dances with Ellen for the same amount of time.