I don’t know much about sports, but I do know a lot about cute things, and when David Beckham and his baby daughter Harper go to an L.A. Dodgers baseball game (with the rest of the family in tow, of course), everybody wins. The final score is 3 adorable to 3 precious, and in the sport of cuteness, that’s an immediate draw. In the major league, mind you. Minor league cuteness has different rules. The same rules apply when David and Harper go to a hockey game, however. Remember when David kissed her on the kiss cam and the world’s ovaries spontaneously combusted in unison? You don’t? Go watch it now, but prepare to buy a bigger rib cage afterward, because your heart is going to immediately grow at least three sizes. But you’ll want to go six sizes up, since you’re already looking at these pictures right here.
Just look at them. Harper’s binky matches her daddy’s baseball cap. They’re so precious together, I heard through the grape vine that Gollum showed up and tried to steal them. I for one am relieved that David is choosing to use his retirement from soccer to put more cuteness out into the world. That really should be celebrities’ top priority, if you ask me. Whether it’s via rescue dogs or impossibly adorable children, stars should have to pass a cuteness test before they can get their celebrity license or whatever identification they need to get into the Chateau Marmont.
I must warn you now that if you look at these photos and somehow don’t feel like you just drank a huge cup of hot chocolate and snuggled up against a pile of Golden Retriever puppies, then it’s one, two, three strikes, you’re out. I don’t even care how many strikes you may or may not have already. You’re skipping right to three and you are outta here. Go sit on the bench with the people who don’t think Amy Poehler gives good advice and the VMA attendees who booed One Direction. You sit there and you think about what you’ve done.