You know that thing at the end of Ghostbusters when you’re not supposed to think of your greatest fear or the monster thing will prey off of it? And then it took the form of the Stay Puft marshmallow man because the one guy was thinking about it under the assumption that it couldn’t possibly be scary? Remember that? Well I now have proof that said monster thing (was it a ghost? it was probably a ghost, i don’t remember) exists, and that it’s Miley Cyrus. Because she just looked inside my brain to find the thing I dreaded most, and then promptly made it a reality.
In this case the current things disturbing my nightmares are Justin Bieber, twerking, and Miley Cyrus. Not necessarily in that order, but they’re all definitely top three. And the world found a way to combine all three of those things, in a newly released track by ‘Lil Twist called ‘Twerk’. THE SONG IS CALLED TWERK. AND MILEY AND JUSTIN SING ON IT. Well, ‘sing’, anyway. Let’s be honest, they’re still struggling through the last dregs of puberty in a way only Auto Tune can veil.
Although rumored to be incomplete, the song is already annoyingly catchy. I know it’s gonna be one of those ones that I get stuck in my head against my will. UGH.
But guys, can we also take a moment just to acknowledge what an utter genius Miley is being right now? Four days later, her VMA performance is still all anyone can talk about, and not just because it’s a deadly slow celebrity news week. Justin is just randomly stumbling around into negative publicity and shirtless capers, but I think Miley really knows what she’s doing, as much as I hate to admit it.
I mean, how else do you explain the fact that she went straight to the studio with Kanye West to record a ‘Black Skinhead’ remix after the VMAs? She did not pass GO, she did not collect $200…she didn’t even host her own party. She just skipped right off to Kanye’s house to harvest some of that newly drummed-up publicity. Thanks tongue! Thanks foam finger! Thanks Robin Thicke! You all did a really good job playing directly into my little plan.
*Evil toothy cackle.*