After dating since March 1999 and being married since November 2000, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones are apparently separating. But guys! Thirteen years! That’s a pretty good haul for a coupla kids born on the same day, September 25th, just twenty-five years apart.
Twenty-five years! That’s a lot of years! That’s pretty much all of my years. To the point that if I wanted to pull a Mikey Douglas myself, my bouncing baby CZJ would be turning one year old this coming Monday. (And yes, that was me telling you that my birthday is on Monday. Please feel free to send all cakes and flowers to the Crushable office via Pony Express. And I shall be keeping the ponies.)
No documents have yet been filed by either party, but this split has been rumored for a while, and the couple also hasn’t been photographed together since April, so there are no glaring reasons why this might not be true. According to a source close to the couple, “They’re taking a break. They want the best for their kids no matter what happens.” Another insider pointed out that the relationship has been strained lately by the pair’s multiple health problems. As you may recall, Catherine checked herself into rehab earlier this year for her Bipolar II Disorder, and Michael has been battling throat cancer apparently caused by an especially vigorous cunnilingus regimen: “The stress has taken a toll on their marriage.”
But before you get too bummed out about love being dead and everything ending, let’s not forget that when these two met in France back in the day, Michael’s pick-up line was, “I want to father your children.” So…hey! Mission accomplished, right? Because these two made a couple of Douglases together — Dylan and Carys, born in 2000 and 2003, respectively. I’d say with a success rate like that, it’s totally reasonable to pack it up and call it a day.
(Image: Joseph Marzullo / WENN.com)