Remember last winter when Harry Styles and Taylor Swift had that whirlwind romance? Yeah, that was a thing that happened. Well, it was a thing they would have us believe happened. I’m still not totally convinced that celebrities aren’t holograms, so I didn’t exactly shed a tear when Haylor split up and became Ha and yler. Because they were sort of the Cuocovill of 2012, can’t we agree? Ah, those were simpler times. I was reminded of this ill-fated fling this morning when I read these new quotes from Harry Styles about their relationship. And I think it’s safe to say that Harry is like so over it. He’s twerking his way right out of CareTown and into WhateverVille, which I think is adjacent to Cuocovill, come to think of it. Harry told Us Weekly that he’s totally cool with Taylor Swift writing songs about him.
“It would be hypocritical for me to say she couldn’t do it because everybody writes songs based on personal experience,” the 19-year-old singer tells Us. “I can’t say I’d have dated someone less famous to avoid it.”
That sound you just heard in the distance? That’s the sound of Taylor Swift sitting in her parlor drinking tea with Meredith being generally confused. The sound of silence Simon & Garfunkel were singing about? This is it. I think Harry might have used this as a tactic to render Taylor speechless so she won’t even have the ability to sing a song about him. He’s like an adorably messy-haired, twerking version of Ursula the sea witch.
But honestly, where did he get this good attitude and where can I buy one? Do they sell them at Target? Every day Harry Styles upgrades his pied-a-terre in my heart to make it more and more permanent. He spoke out against the Westboro Baptist Church and suddenly there was an IKEA couch in there. When he twerked the kitchen got remodeled. I just like him so much and I don’t know what to do with myself.
When asked what he looks for in a girl, Harry said, “Someone you can have fun with – I like someone who’s up for doing stuff in terms of like, trying new things and going out new places. Not just someone who does nothing and wants to sit around.” As someone who prides herself on being the 21st century’s answer to Boo Radley, this crushes my dreams. Have at him, girls who like to leave the house.