• Fri, Aug 23 - 12:05 pm ET

Kanye Revealed The First Photo Of North West On Kris And It Only Went Downhill From There

North West first photo kris show

Just like we were warned days ago, Kanye West went on Kris Jenner’s joke of a talk show and revealed a photo of North West. And as we expected, she looks like a baby! As happy as I am that we finally got this out of the way, I can’t show you this picture and not tell you what I went through to get it.

For the first time ever, I watched Kris. I even gave her the benefit of the doubt before turning it on and was like maybe, just maybe, she’s good at this whole hosting gig. But you know what, no, no she is not. Not in any way or form or shape could she be described as “surprisingly pulling it off.” I spent the entire episode literally shaking my head and saying what aloud. How did this talk show get on air — even for a trial run?

First of all, she doesn’t even try to pretend to hide the fact that this show’s about her. With questions like, “tell me Kanye, what’s it like to live in my house?” and “when did you fall in love with my beautiful and talented daughter who happens to be available for sponsorships at this very moment,” it’s impossible to take her seriously. Okay fine, she didn’t say the sponsorships part, but she did talk to Kanye about what it was like to be in love with Kim Kardashian for the first ten minutes.

Then she moved onto talking to Kanye about Kanye. While I have no doubts that she somehow blackmailed him into being there, he didn’t look as angry as I would have imagined. Then again, he got to discuss his favorite topic: Kanye West.  And it wouldn’t be a Kanye West interview if he wasn’t reminding us that he’s a glorified genius.

“Here I am, a musical genius, and I can’t even work a carseat. The last thing I need is the paparazzi being like this musical genius isn’t such a genius if he can’t work a car set”

Yep, that’s three references to himself being a genius in one hypothetical anecdote about why he won’t take North West out of her prison/castle/tower.

Not going into full body cringes yet? Well this one on for size. Kris Jenner gave her family’s annual Christmas card a full 5-minute promo (it’s practically an American tradition) and then proceeded to tell a story about Kanye West photoshopping himself into those cards years before he met the family. You know, because he loved Kim a long time before he met her. Did you know that? No? Well that’s the back story we got on Kris today. It was love at first sight. He even thought about starting to play sports to woo her. Haha, that’s a joke because her first husband (of 73 days) played sports. While I’m obviously praying that this card’s a failed Kris Jenner joke, I’m not entirely positive. Especially since she called it adorable and then failed to give us any kind of wink or nudge-nudge-lolsies. Which means that Kanye demonstrated some wildly inappropriate behavior before even meeting Kim. Someone’s therapist’s beeper just went off.

Kanye West Kardashian Family Christmas Card stick figure

While the show proved to be incredibly painful to watch, there did prove to be one redeeming thing. When Kris Jenner started wrapping up the show and talking about how much she misses Kanye when he’s traveling, his face is all “sure, okay, whatever lady, Kim said I only had to be nice for an hour and your hour is up!” He doesn’t even give her a “I miss you too.” It’s the small things that matter after an hour of enduring Kris. 

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  • Olivia Wilson

    You know, I always joke about Kanye being obsessed with himself but that musical genius thing is real life actual proof that he is.

    • Jenni

      It was out of control. Something I didn’t include in there, “North West showed Kim and I that there people we care about more than ourselves.”

    • Olivia Wilson

      Oh my god. And also, does he refer to his kid by her first and last name exclusively? Because that would be such a Kanye thing to do.

    • AugustW

      I enjoy a lot of different kinds of music, and some of his songs are interesting but…does anyone actually consider what he does to be genre-breaking? Genius? I….don’t get it.

    • Jenni

      I personally do not. His ability to market himself as such is though is genius.

  • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

    That is one cute baby

    • JLH1986

      Right? I wasn’t expecting that level of adorable. But she is pretty scrumptious.

    • Jenni

      She is super cute! Due to all the drama surrounding this photo, I forgot she was a real live baby.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      Hahahaha! Total pretend baby! Robot-baby!

    • Jenni

      I wouldn’t put it past Kris. Robots are probably much easier to control than living beings.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I think the set of her show looks exactly like the mansion Count Chocula lives in

    • Whit

      She is adorable!

  • JLH1986

    Humphries is actually hubby number 2. She was married to Damon Dash before the Ray J video. I actually don’t think this helps her cause at all but… for accuracy’s sake.

    • Jenni

      You are correct! But I blame Kris for the mistake because I just burnt brain cells watching that show for an hour.

    • AJ

      She wasn’t married to Damon Dash.

  • Stacey Judith

    Awwww!! Look at those big eyes and all that black hair!!

  • Katy Hearne

    If you call yourself a genius out loud in public enough times.. does it make it true? Like, if I keep saying “You know, my best friend Amy Poehler says…” will it eventually be a reality?

    • Jenni

      The fact that Kris Jenner has a talk show means we can’t rule out magic like that being real.

    • Katy Hearne

      Then in that case, I’m off to spend the day with my best friend Amy Poehler & adopted mother Helen Mirren to eat calorie free oreos all day.

    • Annie

      You know that part in Peter Pan where you clap if you believe in magic?

      http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mds9eaB2y51qi9d7mo1_500.gif

    • Katy Hearne

      solid

  • Zoue

    Cute baby, vicious story even if its about Kris Jenner.

    • Jenni

      Have you seen the show?

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      Kris has been on my shitlist ever since she body shamed Kim about her “watermelon boobs” and I barely even know who Kim is. It isn’t like Kris is some amazing humanitarian we should all not pick on.

  • Alexis Rhiannon

    Jenni, I don’t know what you’re complaining about. I put the show on to look at the baby photo and it worked perfectly to unexpectedly put me to sleep for the next hour and a half.

  • Kalalu

    Kris was her second husband. Just sayin

  • ChiChi

    So cute! I would actually babysit that kid. Only because the Kardashian’s have moolah and money doesn’t grow on campus trees.

    • Jenni

      Except they probably pay in autographs and alluring side eye

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      They pay in Kim Kardashian fragrance™ and vials of the sweat from Kanye’s leather kilts

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