Following the new trend of getting engaged before you can legally drink alcohol in the United States, One Direction’s Zayn Malik, 20, is engaged to his girlfriend Perrie Edwards, 19, after two years of dating. You know how I know that? Because I can currently hear the sobs of teenage girls around the world sailing through the air and making their way to my ears. It’s a little known fact that celebrity bloggers have the ability to hear teenage angst from miles away. My ears are like dog ears. But if we’re really being honest, I actually know this because Perrie was wearing an engagement ring at the premiere of One Direction: This is Us last night, and her mom confirmed the news in an interview. But that hearing thing is totally true too.
As Hollywood Life is reporting, Perrie’s mom Debbie told the Dorset Echo newspaper that they are indeed engaged, and they’re “really in love.” They apparently didn’t want to announce the engagement before the movie premiere in order to not steal the band’s thunder. Way to not be a Rachel Green, Zayn. Good for you. But I must say I’m a little weirded out by Debbie’s next statement.
“It’s wonderful because Zayn is absolutely gorgeous. It’s true they got engaged on Sunday and it’s absolutely lovely. Perrie loves him to pieces and it’s perfect. They get on so well together and understand each other. It’s just fabulous.”
Yes, it’s wonderful that your 19-year-old daughter is getting married to someone gorgeous. That’s really at the top of priority list. Don’t get me wrong, Zayn is gorgeous, even as (or maybe especially as) a woman. And yeah, she said they get along, too, but it just seems like a strange thing for a young woman’s mother to say right out of the gate when her daughter gets engaged. But what do I know? I’m the ripe old age of 22 and have nary an engagement to my name.
I’m still struggling to wrap my brain around the idea of a married boybander. Will we get some songs about taking out the trash? Mortgage payments? I’ve gleaned that Zayn is the least popular of the 1D boys, according to Twitter followers. He only has 10 million, which is like super sad. I’m starting to think he’s doing this to soften the blow when the more popular guys tie the knot. You know, so that the Harry Styles Engagement Riot of 2017 will be a little less violent.