Hey Twi-hards, get in here! You guys are gonna love this! Your old friend Robert Pattinson from the Twilight movies — you know, he played the sparkly vampire one! — wants to know how you guys spend your time! How flattering!
Oh no…wait. I might have misinterpreted this. I was just reading an interview that R-Pattz gave recently, and in it he says he wonders what Twilight fans do all day. The only thing is, I think he means it less in a ‘hey, what did you get up to today?’ way and more of a ‘HOW DO YOU ACCOUNT FOR YOUR TIME, YOU SILLY TWIT’ way. Do you know what I mean? Speaking to Germany’s Interview magazine, Rob had this to say about the franchise’s fan base:
“The real odd thing about this Twilight target group is that they aren’t really teenagers. Most of them are older. Twilight has its own parallel world, its own fan culture that has been forming on the net since day one. And in an intense way that has never existed before. Sometimes I ask myself what these masses of people do the whole day. They sit in front of their computers and comment on anything having even remotely to do with Twilight.”
I know, guys. I know. I should never have called you all in here like that. It was very rash of me. I just had no idea that Robert was gonna be so scornful of all of you. That must be so embarrassing for you, I can’t imagine. Oh, did I not mention? I’m not a Twilight fan either. But at least I know what Twi-hards are up to all day! They’re commenting on posts like this one, yelling at us when we make fun of Kristen Stewart for being an odd duck, and trying to force Robsten back into existence through sheer force of will. It’s a tough life, but somebody’s gotta do it!
Keep on fighting the good fight, guys. Even if Robert Pattinson and Stephenie Meyer both agree the franchise sucks and wish you’d give it a rest sometimes. Or all the time.
(Image: LJT Images / WENN.com)