You know that saying, ‘sometimes a whole is greater than the sum of its parts’? Well, sometimes that means peanut butter is delicious and jelly is delicious, but PB&J is extra delicious, which is great. But some other times it means there are two famous people who aren’t quite taking it to the next level, but suddenly with their powers combined, they’re one of those elusive beasts, the celebrity power couple, and they become unstoppable.
But the thing is, sometimes celebrities aren’t all that interested in dating each other. Silly old actors sometimes like to do what they want, with no eye to what could make them more famous. Enter your agent, your manager, your publicist, your whoever. This person knows what’s good for you, and sometimes what’s good for you is to be linked with a fellow famous, whether you like each other or not.
And thus, the fake celebrity relationship was born. Or fake-lationships or PR-elationships, as they are also called. Whether it’s done to sell movies, provide a screen for homosexuality, or just boost an actor’s profile, it’s a tale as old as time, and it never fails to amuse me. (Yeah that’s right, this is what that little teapot was singing about all along.)
So here they are, you non-famous sons of bitches. The 10 Celebrity Fake-lationships That Still Crack Me Up.
(Photos: Adriana M. Barraza/WENN.com/WENN)
1. Kaley Cuoco and Henry Cavill
Our most recent offenders, this relationship appeared and disappeared in a matter of days, coinciding suspiciously with the release of Henry’s movie Man Of Steel. You know there’s something fishy when the first time you see a new couple, they’re holding hands and buying groceries together. Dead giveaway.
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2. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson
Now here’s a couple with a little more staying power, but no matter how many years they stayed together, you were never gonna convince me that they weren’t doing so to promote Twilight. Which became even more evident when they had to resort to a heavy-handed cheating scandal publicity stunt to break K-Stew and R-Pattz up.
(WENN.com/ Andres Otero/WENN.com)
3. Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron
The reigning king and queen of fake-lationships. If these two touched each other one time outside of the High School Musical set or not in front of a paparazzo’s camera, I will eat my hat.
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4. Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus
I genuinely believe that these two started out in a real relationship, but those days are long gone. There are only so many times your engagement ring needs to go to the dry cleaner, Miley.
5. Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough
No way, no how. He bought the girl a $3 million break-up mansion, for chrissake.
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6. Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise
There are a lot of rumors about this one being fake, with some people even alleging that Tom has his wives sign contracts. Do some poking around on the internet.
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7. Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries
Seventy-two days. Need I say more?
(Photos: WENN/Derrick Salters/WENN.com)
8. Kevin Jonas and Danielle Jonas
I know there’s supposedly a baby slow-roasting in that Jonas belly, but DO SOMETHING MORE THAN PECK ON THE LIPS, I DARE YOU.
(Photos: WENN/Adriana M. Barraza/WENN.com)
9. Taylor Swift and Harry Styles
I have a feeling Haylor would’ve been a little more convincing if she hadn’t written their break-up song before they actually broke up. ‘I knew you were trouble…before you walked in…?’
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10. Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston
Oh you dear sweet stars of The Break Up, trying to sell your movie. Aren’t you adorable. Although I can’t blame Jen for wanting a quick breather from the barrage of lonely/barren/spinster comments from the media.
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